SPEAKING UP SAVES LIVES!
As adults, it is our responsibility to notice when a child needs our help. We have experience with warning signs, danger signs, and a learned intuition when something doesn’t seem right. Often times, however, a situation arises when such instinct is in the hands of other children, peers of the child needing help. This is where raising our kids with reasonable knowledge of social dangers becomes not just important for their own safety but for their friends and schoolmates, as well.
My daughter, who’s in 5th grade, came home a few weeks ago worried about a boy in her class. “James” was telling other kids that he cut himself, that he stabbed himself in the chest once with a knife, and that he wished he could die. She said she was scared for him because he seemed serious. Other kids didn’t want to get involved.
I advised her to talk to her teacher, but first, I wanted her to be sure of what he told the other kids. I asked for their names – 3 girls I know personally – and instructed her to find out how they felt when he told them.
She returned home the next afternoon to tell me each girl had heard something the others hadn’t. He told one girl he cut himself on the arm and showed her the slash marks. He told another girl about the stab to his chest and said his mom took him to the doctor, where they patched it up and told him not to play with knives because he could kill himself. He had told his mother and the doctor that he was running with the knife in the kitchen as a joke and fell on it. He admitted to the girl that it was a lie but he didn’t want to get in trouble. Another girl sits behind him in class. She said he was sitting quietly at his desk one day when he said in a soft voice, “I wish I could just die.”
When my daughter asked the girls if they thought they should tell the teacher, they said it was none of their business. One of them said she didn’t want to get the boy in trouble.
I asked my daughter what she thought she should do. She itemized the issue like this: “1. He’s cutting himself and stabbed himself in the chest. 2. He says he wants to die. That’s not a normal thing for a kid to say, mom. Someone needs to do something!”
I told her she needed to go straight to her teacher in the morning. I said that if her teacher tells her she can’t talk right now and to sit down at her desk (because it happens sometimes), she is to tell her teacher it’s about a student in the class who is in danger. My daughter isn’t known for exaggerating or causing trouble. In fact, she’s known to be a very caring individual who doesn’t hesitate speaking up for what is right and for talking about what is wrong with teachers. Therefore, I knew that if she told her teacher it was about a student in trouble, she would have her undivided attention.
The next afternoon, the first thing she blurted when coming home was, “‘James’ is going to be okay!” I asked what happened. She said she went to the other 3 girls first and asked them if they wanted to go with her to tell the teacher about the boy. Two of the girls said no, it was none of their business. The third girl said she asked her mom about it and her mom said, “You girls need to mind your own business. It sounds like he’s just trying to get attention from the girls in the class.” My daughter told the girl about the work I do with child abuse prevention and awareness. The girl said she told her mom about me and that my daughter was raised to know warning signs of kids in trouble. Her mother told her, “Well, I’m an expert with kids and I’m telling you nothing is wrong. You shouldn’t listen to that girl [my daughter] because her mom sounds like a worry wart.”
My daughter shrugged her shoulders and said, “Okay, well, I’m going to tell because he needs help and I care about other kids.” She then marched up to the desk and asked if she could talk to the teacher outside so no one would hear. They did and a little while later, the school councilor called for the boy to go to her office.
I had a reason to call her teacher a few days later, and when we were done with the reason for the call, she informed me that she was very proud of my daughter for speaking up. She said she couldn’t say what was going on but that he was going to be okay now, thanks to my daughter. She said she was aware the other girls wanted to keep quiet about it and had been told by another parent not to tell anyone. She said she was going to have D.A.R.E. bring up a situation like that in their weekly class given to the 5th graders.
A few days ago, my daughter informed me that “James” will be leaving the school in a couple of weeks because his mother is moving with him and his sister to another house in another part of the state or possibly out of state. She said he seems so happy now. He’s always talking about going on family outings with his mom and sister, and he hasn’t said one thing about hurting himself or wishing he would die. He smiles more and seems to have more friends on the playground. He didn’t really have close friends before and no one was allowed to go to his house. Since the family was living in military housing and the father is active duty, I am assuming this means they are leaving the dad, which means they have to leave military housing. I’m left to speculate that the boy was being abused by his father and this was the reason for his depression.
As parents, we are responsible for the well-being of our children. Some believe they should only look after their own and let other parents tend to their responsibilities. Such an attitude may sometimes be okay in the fields of politics and religion, but it never ceases to amaze me how an adult can feel that way about a defenseless, helpless child.
Raising our kids with respect for themselves as well as respect for others goes a long way in their lives. Such a character trait makes them productive members of society, valuable assets at work, and guarantees them a healthier social life through their school years as well as adulthood. Teaching caution when proceeding in a dangerous situation is understandable, and knowing when to get involved and when to have an authority get involved instead is perfectly fine. Raising a child to be apathetic, however, is never okay. Such coldness will affect all areas of their lives: school, work, relationships, and parenthood. Such an apathetic attitude from one’s parent could, also, lead to a child to believe their parent won’t care if they are the child in need of help.
I am proud of my daughter for not only caring about that boy and speaking up for him, but for ignoring the apathy of her friends and the negative, cold-hearted attitude of that other mother. She knew what was right and she did it, even if it meant those three girls could make fun of her and even if the boy could be angry with her.
When I suggested to her that he may be angry or upset for telling his secret, I let her know that it was okay if he was mad. At least she would get him help and he would be thankful later on. She said she felt like he was telling the kids in class because he was hoping one of them would tell the teacher so he wouldn’t get in trouble for asking for help. She’s a smart girl because that is precisely why many kids don’t tell. So isn’t it up to us as good parents to teach our kids to help their friends who can’t ask for the help they need?
I have a couple of links about childhood suicide, depression, and childhood cutting. If you are a teacher or professional caregiver, please keep this information handy. If you’re a parent, please remember that even if you raise your child with love and kindness, it doesn’t mean his or her friends and classmates are being raised the same way. This information will help you talk to your kids about what their friends may be going through at home or elsewhere and how they can help.
Dr. Jane Pearson on Warning Signs for Childhood Suicide… http://www.nimh.nih.gov/media/audio/jane-pearson-on-warning-signs-for-childhood-suicide.shtml
An excerpt:
Dr. Pearson: So the children who attempt suicide can have many types of problems. It could be depression, anxiety, conduct disorder, substance abuse and it’s typically a combination of things and there may be some events that are precipitants as well… so it’s usually not just one simple cause.
Announcer: Dr. Jane Pearson is with the Division of Services and Intervention Research at the National Institute of Mental Health. A great deal of her research focuses on how to prevent suicide. When it comes to reaching out to children and the adults who care for them, the most critical action step may be- listening…
Dr. Pearson: Kids often do talk about what they’re feeling. And people talk about gestures- being something that’s just- oh, they’re just trying to get attention. Well, they’re trying to get attention for a good reason and it would be good to not ignore any kind of comment about “oh, I just want to die.” It should probably reflect some type of distress and its worth evaluating.
Announcer: In addition to listening to our own kids… it’s important to listen to their friends…
Dr. Pearson: Kids still prefer to talk to other kids. They’re still reluctant to seek help from adults. So we’re… we see the research moving towards how do you get kids to help kids more. Usually, there is some distress and some comment about not wanting to be around. Other friends might notice this and you should take those comments from the kid’s peers very seriously and try to get some kind of evaluation as soon as possible.
WebMD Cutting and Self-Harm…. http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/cutting-self-harm-signs-treatment
An excerpt:
“They may have a history of sexual, physical, or verbal abuse,” Lader adds. “Many are sensitive, perfectionists, overachievers. The self-injury begins as a defense against what’s going on in their family, in their lives. They have failed in one area of their lives, so this is a way to get control.”
[…]
For many kids, it’s the result of a repressive home environment, where negative emotions are swept under the carpet, where feelings aren’t discussed. “A lot of families give the message that you don’t express sadness,” says Conterio.
It’s a myth that this behavior is simply an attention-getter, adds Lader. “There’s a [painkiller] effect that these kids get from self-harm. When they are in emotional pain, they literally won’t feel that pain as much when they do this to themselves.”
[…]
David Rosen, MD, MPH, is professor of pediatrics at the University of Michigan and director of the Section for Teenage and Young Adult Health at the University of Michigan Health Systems in Ann Arbor.
He offers parents tips on what to watch for:
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Small, linear cuts. “The most typical cuts are very linear, straight line, often parallel like railroad ties carved into forearm, the upper arm, sometimes the legs,” Rosen tells WebMD. “Some people cut words into themselves. If they’re having body image issues, they may cut the word ‘fat.’ If they’re having trouble at school, it may be ‘stupid,’ ‘loser,’ ‘failure,’ or a big ‘L.’ Those are the things we see pretty regularly.”
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Unexplained cuts and scratches, particularly when they appear regularly. “I wish I had a nickel for every time someone says, ‘The cat did it,'” says Rosen.
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Mood changes like depression or anxiety, out-of-control behavior, changes in relationships, communication, and school performance. Kids who are unable to manage day-to-day stresses of life are vulnerable to cutting, says Rosen.
Signs of Depression in children: http://aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/the_depressed_child
The behavior of depressed children and teenagers may differ from the behavior of depressed adults. Child and adolescent psychiatrists advise parents to be aware of signs of depression in their youngsters.
If one or more of these signs of depression persist, parents should seek help:
-
Frequent sadness, tearfulness, crying
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Decreased interest in activities; or inability to enjoy previously favorite activities
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Hopelessness
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Persistent boredom; low energy
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Social isolation, poor communication
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Low self esteem and guilt
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Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure
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Increased irritability, anger, or hostility
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Difficulty with relationships
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Frequent complaints of physical illnesses such as headaches and stomachaches
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Frequent absences from school or poor performance in school
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Poor concentration
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A major change in eating and/or sleeping patterns
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Talk of or efforts to run away from home
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Thoughts or expressions of suicide or self destructive behavior
Kids Health: Understanding Depression.. http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/understanding_depression.html
At the bottom of that page are tabs for parents to click, kids to click for help, and teens to click. Each tab has information on depression, cutting, suicide, bullying, etc..
In this month of National Child Abuse Awareness, we must remember that sometimes, the hero to an abused child isn’t always an adult. Sometimes it’s another child who has been taught to listen, speak up and speak out.
Using Stolen Valor To Stalk Children
“Stolen Valor” is the act of posing as a member of the military for various reasons, including scamming individuals out of money, businesses out of military freebies, and gaining the trust of lonely women desperately seeking companionship. Much of this stolen valor has been occurring on social networking sites like Facebook and on military websites where the fraud feels some sense of belonging while gathering information to use in his next scam.
Among the victims of the stolen valor con are children. Unfortunately, the latest school shooting tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary brought forth one such individual. The incident involving Craig Pusley, who dressed in a “borrowed” uniform and stood out in front of a California school after witnessing a similar act by a real soldier, Jordan Pritchard, has opened up the secret methods of predators for getting access to our children.
Not only was Pusley wrong for what he did (impersonating a decorated Marine Sgt with overseas combat experience), the school was even more at fault for putting their students at risk. No one at the school questioned Craig Pusley’s claims of being a servicemember. He simply showed up in a uniform and stood in front of the school entrance, where children ran up to him and parents tearfully thanked him. The school staff was elated to have this “soldier” giving up his spare time to “guard” their kids. No one asked for his identification. No one asked for his military ID. No one asked for a contact number to verify his claims. He didn’t even have children at the school. He was every bit a stranger, and the school allowed him on their property with no questions asked, simply because he wore a uniform and played upon the hysteria of our nation in the wake of Sandy Hook.
An even more worrisome ripple to this story has come in the form of support he has received. One such example is the following that has been passed around Facebook like an aggressive cancer:
“Valley marine calls himself to duty at an Elementary school. Sgt. Craig Pusley wears his desert camo fatigues…no weapons…just him. Took it upon himself to go to the nearby school and stand watch outside. The school loved it. The principal thanked him. No pay..no breaks…just his heart felt need to do this. His reward? Marine Corp Reservists says he violated protocol bt wearing his fatigues and not his dress uniform in public. Facing $10,000 fine and 5 years in prison. Also getting a “dishonorable” stamp on his “honorable” discharge. He served 2 tours in iraq, in Baghdad and Ramadi. One in Helmand province of Afghanistan before leaving active duty.
Now he is writing a letter to the President apoligizing for his actions.
WAKE UP! This man is a wonderful outstanding brave hero in my book and to think for a second that his heart felt need to go stand in front of his little neighborhood school was wrong. Screw you! The President should be sending him a Thank you letter.
So I salute you Sgt. Craig Pusley. Thank you!
This is something I would like to see go viral. Let’s stand up and say Thank you to this man who didn’t think twice…he followed his heart and there is no crime in doing that.”
This “share” isn’t just wrong because there is no threat of “dishonorable” or the other claims and because there was NEVER overseas service. It is, also, dangerous because it hails the unthinking actions of the school that put children in very real danger. There is NOTHING respectable or admirable about what he did or what the school did. They have shown the pedophile world just how easy it is to stalk school children, especially after a tragedy that has all schools raising the drawbridge and parents buying bulletproof backbacks.
Now, I’ve been accused in the past of giving predators ideas because of my thorough discussions regarding their grooming tactics and what makes children targets. I’m sure this article will come under the same scrutiny. I can assure you that these predators already know what to look for, how to target and acquire their prey, and anything I or others like me post isn’t even everything they already do. Where do you think we get our information? Pedophile forums.
Pedophiles have their own culture. They are every bit a cult as a fringe religion. They have their own secret language, their own secret meetings, their own rules, their own ideas of “right” and “wrong,” and they have their own lobbyists to make what they do legal. Their best strategy to continue their way of life is by feeding off of one another’s experiences and ideas. I can assure you, also, that this issue with Craig Pusley has been and is still being discussed in pedophile chat rooms and among pedophiles at dinners together, children’s sporting events together, and at so-called “rehab” centers for sex offenders. We hear it, we see it, and we’ve had previous cases involving military impersonators.
I, personally, have been contacted by parents whose children were approached by someone in uniform who could not provide proof of service. I’ve been contacted here by a mom whose daughter was stalked and groomed by a man impersonating a deceased soldier. The young girl didn’t think a soldier would be after anything bad, so she told him everything he wanted to know about herself, her family, and her contact information. When I pretended to be a target for pedophiles, I encountered such people, as well.
Nothing I say here is news to them. They are already doing this to get to our kids. The worse part is that schools like the one in California are making it easy for them, and people like those spreading support for impersonators like Pusley are sending the message that many in this country are still gullible idiots who refuse to consider the dangers around every corner. It’s “depressing” to live that way, so they say. I can guarantee you it’s more depressing to witness a school shooting and child abductions that happened because no one wanted to admit the dangers they were, themselves, cultivating.
We are all afraid for our children, as parents and as a collective. Turning a blind eye to the dangers, however, helps to create a world in which we have to be more fearful and our children are faced with horrors your blind eye refuses to imagine.
Craig Pusley could have been a pedophile. He could have been a child pornographer or a kidnapper for the black market in child slavery. He could have even been a stalker of a teacher. And he could have been a shooter looking for an easy angle to get into a school. No one knew because no one checked him out. They didn’t check him out because he was wearing a uniform, and they believed the uniform automatically made him safe because assuming otherwise would have been “fear-mongering” and “depressing.”
We still don’t know much more about this man than that his service claims were a lie. He could very well be any of the above, or just a typical attention seeker riding the coattails of a horrific tragedy. No one knows because no one asked and no one verified anything.
This is the perfect set up for those who would do our kids harm, and any support for behavior like this sends a clear and strong signal to predators that it works and a message to children that the adults in charge can’t keep them safe.
The Facebook share above does have one thing right: WAKE UP! Our children can’t afford to have the adults in charge of their safety ignoring dangers just because it’s depressing and an inconvenience to us. A child’s funeral is a depressing inconvenience, too.
“Toads May Talk”
I don’t usually do this and I am a supporter of “Boycott Amazon.com;” however, I feel this book is an excellent tool in teaching children how to deal with situations in which they may find themselves, and how to cope when a friend or loved one is a victim. Please check it out!
Book Description
Publication Date: 1 Jun 2012
“A young boy learns that some friends are not friends.”12 year old Luke and his Mum flee his evil stepfather and the city for life in a country village. All looks idyllic; a new, more peaceful way of life, a new school, new best friend. Everything appears perfect until one day Luke meets the mysterious Albie, in a graveyard of all places…
Toads May Talk was written as a response to the many tragic incidences of abuse of children by people that they know. It is reported that most sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone within the child’s social sphere – for example, a relative, a family friend, a teacher, youth worker, religious leader, neighbour. Despite the stereotypical image of the abuser propagated by the media, abusers usually do not look like monsters and it is relatively rare for them to be strangers.
Toads seeks to help answer the question on every parent’s lips – “how do you teach your children to trust their instincts when they know something is not right?” It seeks to teach children about the ways in which some people, even those who are not strangers, can manipulate them.
Written as a sensitive and enjoyable tale from a young boys point of view, the story is intended to educate and empower children from ages 9 years and up. The author recommends that you read the book with your child, so that they may ask questions that may arise as they follow the story.
The tale is of a friendship between two boys, Luke and Tobias, who regularly spy on small animals in the garden hoping to hear them talk to each other. When Tobias’s father begins to become over-friendly with Luke, taking him into his confidence and introducing him to alcohol in a cool, seemingly innocent way, Luke senses something is not quite right but as many good boys who are taught to be polite to their elders, he doesn’t voice his concerns.
The story follows several incidents where Luke is under the influence of Tobias’s Father (and the ‘alcohol’ which in reality is a drug) but is taken away from the scene by meetings with the mysterious Albie. Thus, allowing the reader to learn the valuable lessons within the story without being subjected to the full reality of the situation.
It is hoped the story will serve as a gentle, compelling, sometimes amusing and, most importantly, cautionary tale for children to raise awareness and assist parents to have a conversation with them on the difficult and dark subject of child abuse. Knowledge is power.
Author’s website: http://hell4heather.com/ … http://hell4heather.com/2012/06/19/adopting-an-elfy-lifestyle/#comment-230
Internet Predators And The Games They Play
(This post is part of a 2-Part special post on internet safety. Part 1 is above.)
“You’ve been tagged!”
We’ve all seen them. Maybe even received an invitation to participate. I am posting this article to expose them for what they are: Questionnaires for Sexual Predators. No matter who composed the games, online predators are reading kids’ answers and making note of them to find the right victims to harass, stalk, and someday assault.
Kids think they are having fun, sharing about themselves with people their own age just looking for a creative outlet and a place to find a cool friend. The truth of the matter is that this “friend” may actually be a sexual predator.
He has composed the best list of questions to find out the age of his intended target, the name, where they live, and how best to convince them he can be trusted through similar interests.
He has already made a lot of kids believe he is their age by using their language and posting images he stole from another kid’s photo hosting site, or maybe images of his child or niece, nephew, next door neighbor.
Now, he has a whole friends list full of children who believe he is also a child. He posts his “Tagging game” with what his friends believe to be honest answers. Then, he tags his friends. He will first tag the ones he is really interested in, but not too many. He knows the others will follow suit and play the game, or eventually get tagged with his game, themselves. All he has to do is sit back, wait and let his first few victims do the stalking for him.
Once he has what he needs, he will not just use this information for himself. He will pass on this information to other sexual predators so they can find these children, as well.
See, sexual predators don’t work alone. They have a network. They have “rings” of hundreds online and out in the walking world.
There are those members who will scout out the best places to find vulnerable children to take and molest, and pass on the lists of these places to pedophiles in the area.
There are members who visit playgrounds, parks, and school functions and take photographs of children to pass along to other pedophiles and sexual predators.
I have even seen a network where the man acts as a finder. He will take the images, post them on his site, and other pedophiles will tell him who they are interested in. He will either pass along or sell the information to them – like where the image was taken, if the child had any brothers or sisters, if the parents are observant or did they leave their child unattended, and in many cases, the photographer has the home address to give or sell the predator.
Tagging games make all of this much simpler. No work needed for a scout. All he has to do is pretend to be a child playing a game.
I have seen an alarming number of children give out all of their personal information to not only the person who tagged them, but also the entire internet to see. These kids don’t seem to have ever been taught not to give the entire world their full name, address, telephone number, parents’ names, so on and so forth. If someone online asks for this information, they are up to no good. Count on it!
Below are actual games I copied several months ago from a few different sites. Mind you, not every question is sinister but are meant to make the game seem innocent.
TAG GAME 1:
1. Whats your full name?
2. Whats your age?
3. Height and weight, if known.
4. What is your species?
5. Do you believe in love?
6. Who do you love?
7. Name your best buddies.
8. At what date you were born?
9. Favorite Movies.
10. Do you consider yourself a sexy or cute person?
11. How would you describe yourself?(in a physical and psychological matter?)
12. Who do you hate?
13. What do you hate?
14. Do you think fashion is important in your life?
15. Where do you live?
16. What are your hobbies?
17. Tell us some secret that you have.
18. Favorite Foods.
19. Random Question. Do you think Spam tastes like human flesh?
20. Why did you take this quiz?
TAG GAME 2:
1. YOUR REAL NAME:
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.)
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street)
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom’s maiden name)
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink).
7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name)
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name and fathers name.)
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets)
TAGGING GAME 3:
1) Full name:
2) Male/Female:
3) Were you named after anyone?
4) Does your name mean anything?
5) Nickname(s):
6) What do you think you look like… name wise:
7) Date of birth:
8 ) Place of birth and current location:
9) Nationality:
10) Astrological sign:
11) Chinese astrology sign:
12) Religion:
13) What’s your favorite smell?
14) Political Position:
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning:
16) Hair + eye color:
17) Do you look like anyone famous:
18) What do you look like?
19) Any unusual talents?:
20) Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous?:
21) Gay, straight, bi, or other?:
22) What do you do for a living?:
23) What do you do for fun?:
24) What are your favourite art materials to work with?:
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?:
26) Have you met your grandparents?:
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
28) Crush:
29) What celebrity would you date if you could?:
30) Current worries?:
31) Favourite online guy/girl(s):
32) Favourite place to be?:
33) Least favorite place to be?:
34) Do you burn or tan?:
35) Ever break a bone?:
36) What is your favourite cereal?:
37) Person you cry with:Do you have…
38) Any sisters:
39) Any brothers:
40) Any pets:
41) An illness:
42) A pager:
43) A personal phone line:
44) A cell phone:
45) A visible birthmark:
46) A pool or hot tub:
47) A car:Describe your…
48) Personality:
49) Driving:
50) Your clothing style:
51) Room:
52) What’s missing:
53) School:
54) Bed:
55) Relationship with your parent(s):
56) Do you believe in yourself?:
57) Do you believe in love at first sight?:
58) Consider yourself a good listener?:
59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?:
60) Get along with your parents?:
61) Save your e-mail conversations?:
62) Pray?:
63) Believe in reincarnation?:
64) Brush your teeth twice a day?:
65) Like to talk on the phone?:
66) Like to eat?:
67) Like to exercise?:
68) Like to watch sports?:
69) Sing in the car?:
70) What is a dream that you have all the time?:
71) Dream in colour?:
72) Do you have nightmares?:
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal?:
74) What’s right next to you?:
75) What’s on your favourite mug?:
76) What’s on your mouse pad?:
77) Your favourite flavour of gum:
78) Your brand of deodorant:
79) Your dream honeymoon spot:
80) Your dream husband/wife:
81) What’s hiding in your closet?:
82) Under your bed:
83) The name of one of your closest/best friends:
84) Your bad time of the day:
85) Your worst fear(s):
86) What’s the weather like:
87) Your favourite time of year?:
88) Your favourite holiday?:
89) A material weakness?:
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like:
91) At the top of your “to-do list”?:
92) The hardest thing about growing up:
93) A pet peeve?:
94) Your scariest moment:
95) Your attitude about love?:
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you’ve done to get the attention of the opposite sex?:
97) The worst feeling in the world:
98) The best feeling in the world:
99) Who sent this to you?:
100) 3 people you tag:
TAGGING GAME 4:
Name:
D.O.B.:
Location:
Religion:
Occupation:APPEARANCE
Hair:
Eyes:
Height:STYLE
Clothing:
Music:
Make-up:
Body art:RIGHT NOW
Wearing:
Listening to:
Thinking of:LAST THING YOU…
Bought:
Ate and drank:
Read:
Watched on TV:EITHER/OR
Club or houseparty:
Tea or coffee:
Achiever or slacker:
Beer or cider:
Drinks or shots:
Cats or dogs:
Single or taken:
Pen or pencil:
Gloves or mittens:
Food or candy:
Cassette or cd:
Coke or Pepsi:WHO DO YOU WANT TO…
Kill:
Hear from:
Get really wasted with:
Look like:
Be like:
Avoid:LAST PERSON YOU… AND WHEN?
Touched:
Talked to:
Hugged:
Instant messaged:
Kissed:WHERE DO YOU…
Eat:
Dance:
Cry:
Wish you were:HAVE YOU EVER…
Dated one of your best friends:
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry:
Broken the law:
Ran away from home:
Broken a bone:
Cheated on a test:
Skinny dipped:
Played truth or dare:
Flashed someone:
Mooned someone:
Kissed someone you didn’t know:
Been on a talk/game show: nope
Been in a fight:
Ridden in a fire truck:
Been on a plane:
Come close to dying:
Cheated on your boy/girlfriend:
Gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride:
Eaten a worm/mud pie:
Swam in the ocean:
Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up:WHAT IS…
The most embarrassing CD in your collection:
Your bedroom like?:
Your favorite thing for breakfast:
Your favorite thing for lunch:
Your favorite thing for dinner:
Your favorite Restaurant:ARE YOU…
A Vegetarian:
A Good Student:
Good At Sports:
Good At Wakeboarding/Snowboarding:
A Good Singer:
A good Actor/Actress:
A deep sleeper:
A Good Dancer:
Shy:
Outgoing:
A good stoyteller:
TAGGING GAME 5:
1. Name:
2. Nickname:
3. Birthday:
4. Place of Birth:
5. Zodiac Sign:
6. Male or Female:
7. Education:
8. Schools you went to:
9. Occupation:
10. Residence:
11. Screen Names:___Your Appearance___
12. Hair Colour:
13. Hair Length:
14. Eye colour:
15. Best Feature:
16. height:
17. Braces?:
18. Glasses?:
19. Piercing:
20. Tattoos:
21. Righty or Lefty:___Your ‘Firsts’___
22. First best friend:
23. First Award:
24. First Sport You Joined: :
25. First Pet:
26. First Real Vacation:
27. First Concert:
28. First Love:___ Favorites___
29. Movie:
30. TV Show:
31. Colour:
32. Rapper:
33. Band:
34. Song Right Now:
35. Friend:
36. Candy:
37. Sport to Play:
38. Restaurant:
39. Favorite brand to wear:
40. Store:
41. School Subject:
42. Animal:
43. Book:
44. Magazine:
45. Shoes:
46. alcoholic beverage:
47b. drug:
48b. article of clothing:
49b. website:
50b. video game:___Currently___
46. Feeling: :
47. Single or Taken?:
49. Eating:
50. Drinking:
51. Typing:
52. Online?:
53. Listening To:
54. Thinking About:
55. Wanting To:
56. Watching:
57. Wearing:__________Future__________
58. Want Kids? :
59. Want to be Married:
60. Careers in Mind:
61. Where do you want to live?:
62. Car:__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___
63. Hair colour:
64. Hair length:
65. Eye colour:
66. Measurements:
67. Cute or Sexy:
68. Lips or Eyes:
69. Hugs or Kisses:
70. Short or Tall:
71. Easygoing or serious:
72. Romantic or Spontaneous:
74. Sensitive or Loud:
75. Hook-up or Relationship:
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One:___Have you ever______
78. Kissed a Stranger:
79. Had Alcohol:
80. Smoked:
81. Ran Away From Home:
82. Broken a bone:
85. Broken Someones Heart:
86. Broken Up With Someone:
87. Cried When Someone Died:
88. Cried At School:___Do You Believe In___
89. God:
90. Miracles:
91. Love At First sight:
93. Aliens:
94. Soul Mates:
95. Heaven:
96. Hell:
98. Kissing on The First Date:
99. Horoscopes:___Answer Truthfully___
100. Is there someone you want but you know you can’t have?
TAGGING GAME 6:
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY…
1. Sun or moon?:
2. Winter or Fall?:
3. Left or right?:
4. Sunny or rainy?:
6. Where do you live?: <——- (Right in the middle of innocent questions, so you’d answer without thought)
8. Do you want to get married?:
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?:
10. Do You Cook?:
11. Current mood?:
TAGGING GAME 7:
(Note: This one is horribly wrong and serves several purposes for a predator: 1. Answers these questions: Is the target a prior victim?, Does the target have a problem with underage sex?, Is the target willing to lie to parents?, Can the target be easily coerced?; 2. Desensitizes or seeks to see how desensitized the target is to sex talk and violent sex, 3. Gets the target to talk about sex. There were a lot of morbid questions on this one. I won’t post all of them as I will not advertise this filth. Here are the parts that suggest rape or child abuse:
It begins like this:
“Just read the ‘offense’ and if you’ve done it, you owe that fine.
Keep going until you’ve read each ‘offense’ and added up your total fine.
Title your response ‘My Bar Tab is$……..’
You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.”
…….
……Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been raped — $500
Have raped — $200
Had sex with some one under 16 — $300
Had someone come climb in your bedroom window for sex so your parents would not find out — $100
Slapped someone across the face while fucking them– $100
Fucked someone while they were crying– $300 ……”
By asking about breaking any laws or disobeying parents as most tagging games do, the predator is trying to find out of the child is someone willing to do things that won’t make their parents happy, willing to lie and protect bad people.
Of course, inquiring as to secret e-mails tells the predator if the child is good at keeping secrets and if the child likes sneaking around, has a devious personality that will make people not believe them should they ask for help, and has the ability to hide online activity from parents.
Tagging games can be fun. I’ve participated in them, myself. You cannot be ignorant, however, to the dangers on the internet.
Here are some general common sense rules to keep in mind when filling out anything or chatting with anyone online:
KIDS:
1. Never give out personal information on the Internet. Don’t share your real name, where you live, where you go to school or anything about your family. Not your birthday, place of birth, mother’s or father’s names, or pet’s name. In case of identity theft concerns, these are all security questions card companies ask to keep accounts safe from identity thieves. Such people will, also, prey on children. Not for sex but to get information the adults wouldn’t give that enables an identity thief access to financial accounts.
2. The person who claims he is a 13 year old from Cuba or Hawaii may very well be a 43 year old sex offender 10 miles from your house. You do not know who that other person is, and just because they say it, it doesn’t make it the truth.
3. Don’t agree to meet anyone you’ve talked to on line. Tell your parents if an on–line friend wants to get together. Suggesting to the friend that your parents join you will also help you find out if the person is real. If they make excuses why they can’t meet your parents, they have something to hide. Tell your parents right away and contact the police. You aren’t the only intended victim and you will save a lot more kids by speaking up.
4. If you fill out a personal profile that others can read online, don’t write anything that says too much about you. Even if it’s an online site set to private.
5. Don’t write back to flames (people who use bad language or want to get into an argument on line). Cyber bullies love this interaction and will continue to find ways to hurt you, even physically, especially if they get you to reveal a lot of personal information about yourself as you try to boast about your accomplishments to feel superior to the bully. It is nothing more than a mind game to get to you, and it’s a waste of your time as well as a possible danger.
6. Log off immediately if you see or read something that personally upsets you. Tell your parents or a teacher if something like that happens. You have every right to leave a chat or ignore any communication that tries to talk you into doing something you don’t like or in any way makes you feel uncomfortable. If someone gets angry with you for leaving the communication or blocking them, report them! A real friend would not do such a thing and you owe them nothing after they disrespected you.
7. Protect your password. No one should ever ask you for it for any reason.
8. Don’t tell your secrets to someone you just met and don’t know outside of the internet. Secrets can be used against you to know how far this person can go to hurt you. Secrets can also be used to blackmail you later from telling about something they say or do to you. If you need someone to talk to, make sure whatever you say is something you would feel comfortable for your parents to know if ever this person threatens to tell.
9. Never send pictures over the Internet. You don’t know who will see them or what will be done with them, and there is no way of getting them back.
10. Let your parents know where you go online so they can make sure it isn’t a site set up to get information or hack your computer for your location. Only people with bad intentions have things to hide online.
PARENTS
1. Keep the computer in a family room, kitchen or another area where you can monitor its use. Having an internet hook up in your child’s room is neglectful and dangerous.
2. Limit your child’s time on line, just like you do their television viewing. They need a balance of activities in their lives, and the more they rely on the computer and internet as their entertainment, the more comfortable they will feel talking to strangers about anything.
3. Take time to teach your children how to use the computer and internet responsibly.
4. Discuss the rules with your children. Post them near the computer as a reminder.
5. Ask about your child’s online friends so you know with whom they are communicating. Let your child know that you care about their safety and are watching to be sure they remember your guidelines.
6. Most Internet providers offer parental controls with their service. Use them to keep children away from undesirable sites. Report anything that gets by parental controls and let your Internet service provider know what you expect in terms of keeping kids safe.
7. Learn all you can about blocking and filtering software offered by computer stores. Many can be purchased or downloaded for FREE.
8. Check out the World Wide Web for organizations that represent children’s rights. Do a search using keywords, such as “Internet safety for kids,” and your browser will take you there. Many have newsletters you can download to keep you updated on the latest Internet information.
9. Don’t use the tired old excuse that kids can get internet access anywhere, so there’s nothing you can do. Safety begins at home! If you teach your child what he or she needs to know in life, be open and honest about the dangers out there, help them understand what they can do to stay safe, then you have given them a fighting chance when they aren’t in your presence.
10. Additionally, Morality/Dignity/Self-respect begins at home. If you don’t want your child taking sexually explicit photos of themselves with that camphone you irresponsibly gave them, or webcam you allowed them to use when they close their door to get online, then make sure they know they are not a piece of meat.
Make sure your children know they don’t deserve to be treated like a sexual object for anyone because they are better than that. Let them know that it isn’t just something you don’t like or agree with. Let them know it’s also that you know they deserve to be treated better.
A lot of kids online don’t get praise or acceptance at home. Then they meet someone on the internet via chat, social networking site, or game sites willing to give it to them…as long as they get naked for them or tell them anything they want to know.
Pedophiles Exposed At Nudist Colonies (Shocker!)
I recently received a comment I refused to approve sharing a link to a site specializing in candid, uncensored photos of teens and children at nudist colonies and nude beaches. It reads as follows:
” ..
Mibetesee
newdonist@gmail.com
newdonist@gmail.com
96.254.164.1632010/07/09 at 4:14 amHey everyone, I this website for nudism [link removed by editor]. It is a new website to look at all kinds of uncensored teenagers, kids that live their life in a nudist community. Can anyone tell me if it’s a good site too go to or if its just another scam. I thought it was solid because none of the torrent sites carry anything like this….”
This same site and others like it have come to my attention many times, and I report it to LE each and every time. It is another example of sexual predators being everywhere and another lesson on the necessity of safeguarding our children. Sites like these offering photos of nudist colony residents and nude beaches are NOT authorized to sell or share these photos, unless the particular nudist colony is one that should be raided by the FBI. There is no other purpose to sharing nudist colony photos to non-nudist colony society than for sinister reasons, especially images of children.
These sites feature non-nudist colony images, as well, many of which appear to have been stolen or snapped in secret. For instance, on such sites I have seen photos of children in very skimpy swimwear – dry and wet, images of little girls beneath the cleaning showers at public pools, images of what others would believe are innocent bath time photos, images of children playing in front yards in sprinklers, etc…
Most parents have such photos and see nothing more than the joy on their beloved child’s face of playing in water and soap suds. Family memories become sexual predator fantasy when those photos are developed at a public photo lab or posted online in photo sharing sites and on social networking sites.
Never believe “private” settings make a difference. They don’t. There is always a way around those and online predators know all of them.
Furthermore, unless your entire friends list on your social networking page consists of people you know in real life and would trust alone with your child, and unless your page is set to the privacy of only being viewed by these people, you are offering your child up to pedophiles in your midst.
Where do you think all the photos come from that are found in convicted sex offender’s computers if not for ignorant parents behaving so haphazardly with their child’s safety?
THINK: Would you want someone posting images of your naked body all over the net to complete strangers? Why do it to your child?!
The reason the poster of the comment is inquiring as to this site’s validity is because he/she wants to know if the site is a sting operation or if it is the real deal. The reason this person posted a comment here on my site is because pedophiles, particularly overseas, frequently confuse my site with one in their network. This person tried to post this comment on one of my Alice Day posts, believing it was a post celebrating Alice Day. Idiots run rampant and thankfully, more so in the pedophile community.
More on the crime of child pornography and how you can be prepared and protect your children: http://www.fbi.gov/innocent.htm
If you come across such sites offering images of nude children, teens, or anyone that appears unauthorized (nude children and teens are ALWAYS unauthorized and illegal!), please report that site using the following links:
SNAP
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Violent Crimes Against Children
Toy Soldiers
Steve Wilkos is a talk show host who has addressed child abuse extensively and more than any other talk show on television.
The Ultimate Evil 