The Ultimate Evil

A Child Abuse Awareness Blog

The Female Destroyers Of Youth

Some time back when I ran a victim/survivor organization, I had implemented the lioness and the instinctual responsibility women have to the young. I believed the lioness, in all of her fierce protectiveness of the pride intermingled with the other females, would be an excellent symbol and reminder to mothers of the uncompromising defense of our “cubs,” whether they belong to us personally or the human race, in general.

Although I love animals and know quite a bit about zoology, I neglectfully overlooked that a lioness will stand by while the lion who defeated the pride male will methodically murder the cubs of the previous “king.” Many lionesses will try to protect their cub, but in most footage I have seen, her fight is half-hearted and the other females don’t help. Although they could easily protect their children, it is as though they just accept this is how it will be and step aside to permit the torturous murder of their babies.

After a while, I thought about all of this and ditched the idea of the lioness as an influence for the courageous vehemence all mothers should possess when their child is in danger. At the same time, however, I realized just how parallel the lioness is to so many human mothers.

Although, I knew first hand how devious and abusive women could be, I didn’t know most others didn’t realize it until I happened onto the story I mention in the “About” area of this site that shocked so many. It was about a mother who sold her son to a man to rape for cigarettes or drugs. I can’t remember for what and I can’t find the story again. I did, however, find thousands more, as well as a slew of articles at Fathermag.com.

Please note I have not looked through all articles in the search results or at Fathermag.com. I am supplying these links to show the thousands upon thousands of news articles exposing child sexual abuse by women, not to endorse any of the sites re-posting said articles. These articles are worth a look if only to see how many mothers, teachers, babysitters, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, neighbors, and complete strangers who are female have committed the same crimes society fears from men.

Women abuse, whether we want to believe it or accept it as a society or not, it happens. Women rape. It, also, happens.

We all know the stigma attached to men who have become the victims of women, though, and therefore why very few men and teenage boys admit to their assault. Even RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), the largest charitable anti-sexual assault organization in the country, only recognizes males as assailants. Though their efforts and stats are up to date and they work closely with the justice department, it is disheartening they fail to address the ever growing female abuser problem we have in this country.

The primary reason the numbers are growing is because these women know they can get away with it due in part to 1. their victims don’t speak up and 2. their abusive behavior is practically ignored by sexual abuse advocates and the media. In fact, one of the primary reasons I loathe NOW (National Organization for Women) is because they cover up any abuse caused by women and have high priced legal teams working to prove the woman abuser was actually the victim.

Feminist.com even blatantly skirts the facts reflected in their own reports of sexual abuse, that men ARE abused by women, and curves around that issue in an attempt to force the reader to only focus on the female victims. More cases of lionesses feeding their own children to predators to save their own necks.

I am coming down so hard on feminist organizations because they clearly care nothing of humanity or children and only for their own agenda. This is in direct violation of our instinctual need to care for those in need of our nurturing and protection, and it is a disgrace to all women to behave any differently.

Something for them to think about while they apply their war paint and pretend to be the Amazonian warrior that, in truth, they dishonor with their reckless mentality: Women abuse. Women rape. Sons are abused by mothers. Sons witness mothers abuse. These sons grow up to become serial killers and serial rapists due to underlying issues with their entire childhoods spent in the care of abusive women. Abusive mothers raise men hell bent on making innocent and unsuspecting woman suffer for what they endured as a child – the very same innocent, unsuspecting women NOW and feminist organizations claim to care so much about.

Looking for support for male victims by women abusers is like looking for a needle in a hay stack. Society just isn’t ready to admit women abuse, even with the increasing number of female teachers raping their teenage students.

When looking up “women who rape statistics,” I found nothing about male victims but everything about women victims. Shockingly, when I did a search of “violence against men statistics,” again I found biased information to show men are the abusers and women only make up an ignorable percentage.

I was, however, encouraged a bit when I came across the MASV – Men Against Sexual Violence website. Although they speak more on the level of showing men why it is wrong to rape and otherwise sexually abuse, they do have mentions of abuse caused by women and the attitudes of such abuse that I mention in this post. (Our societal norms encourage a boy to deny any negative or traumatic responses to having been “so lucky,” to having earned a ‘badge of honor.’ But, having been coerced or manipulated into sex by an older girl or woman is always abusive and often damaging (Lisak et al., 1996).”)

I did come across one feminist site with a posting by the site owner exposing sexual abuse by women on young boys. She recalled how the revelation that the lead singer for the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Anthony Kiedis, lost his virginity at 12 was handled by men and the public – as if it was a badge of honor to have been forcibly raped by one of this dad’s girlfriends.

She noted the more recent interview on Jimmy Kimmel with Lil Wayne admitting he was raped at 11 by a sexually aggressive 13 year old (which is a topic for another day as to how a 13 year old girl becomes sexually aggressive in the first place!). I found the interview in several areas, but the most intriguing are the reprints of the interview he did for Playboy, in which the interviewer and readers thought it was really cool he “got laid” at 11.

The person in this link even calls him a male slut, although does address how celebrities with this kind of past would be better if they addressed child rape rather than use it as a badge of honor.

What a guy does in his adulthood is his business and is usually consent, as an adult women consenting to sex neither deserves the term. Regardless on your point of view about adult promiscuity, what happens as a child does not warrant being called a slut.

The reason I am not posting a link to her site or her name is because of what I found in her comments. All respect I had for her post and all sincerity she tried to portray in caring for male victims of women was all but destroyed when she attacked a gentleman who commented that he was surprised a feminist would take on such a controversial topic and even thanked her for speaking up because he, too, was a survivor of his father and his mother’s sexual abuse.

  • Toysoldier on March 25, 2009 7:43 pm

    Speaking as someone who shares Lil Wayne’s experience, I commend you for empathizing with him and other male victims. It is generally uncommon for feminists to characterize sexual violence against boys and men as rape, let alone acknowledge that women are capable of and do commit sexual violence against them.

    While “rape apologism” is a catchy phrase, the situation is a lot more complex and nuanced than that, and given that no one actually practices the “philosophy of rape apologism,” framing what occurs as such does victims just as a great disservice as having their experiences made light of.

    There is another element at play in terms of why male victimization is dismissed, and that is that the support networks for victims generally do not reach to or even acknowledge male victims. It was not that long ago where it would have been expected for women to brush off rape if in a similar situation as Lil’ Wayne was in. As a result of advocacy in the last few decades those sentiments have changed. However, many of those advocates fail to include boys and men as potential victims, and people who bring that up as an issue are often shut down.

    Sexual violence is framed as a women’s issue, and because of how pervasive that notion is in our society, it has a drastic effect on how people perceive male victimization.

    Since I have been involved with male survivors, I have heard dozens of young men, particularly in my and Lil’ Wayne’s age group, state that they cannot have been raped because that is something that can only happen to girls. Inevitably this seems to stem from what they have been taught and heard. They have never heard anyone refer to males as potential victims, so they just assume that what happened could not possibly be raped, especially with the addition of the stereotypes and stigmas attached to male rape.

    While this may not seem like an important aspect of why male victims refuse to use the term “rape” to describe their experiences, it does seem to be one of the major reasons driving that decision. So it is not just a matter of sexism in society, but also sexism within the support community that plays a role in what happened on Kimmel’s show.

She ignored his gratitude, his praise, and even his revelation about his abuse and attacked his shock over a feminist caring about male victims.

  1. Cara on March 25, 2009 9:41 pm

    “It is generally uncommon for feminists to characterize sexual violence against boys and men as rape, let alone acknowledge that women are capable of and do commit sexual violence against them.”

    Though I’ll be the last person you’ll ever find denying that some feminists are assholes, I think that it’s far more common than you believe.

    While “rape apologism” is a catchy phrase, the situation is a lot more complex and nuanced than that, and given that no one actually practices the “philosophy of rape apologism,” framing what occurs as such does victims just as a great disservice as having their experiences made light of.

    Few people who are prejudiced actually label and own their own prejudice. Seeing as how rape apologism is exactly what you describe, I’d really love to hear what you’d call it. But I’d appreciate you not telling me on my own blog that the apologies that have been made for the rape that I endured were something else. Like you do above, and like you do here:

    It was not that long ago where it would have been expected for women to brush off rape if in a similar situation as Lil’ Wayne was in. As a result of advocacy in the last few decades those sentiments have changed.

    This is factually inaccurate. Do you know how long it took me to call my rape what it was, because I’d been told all my life that I couldn’t have possibly been raped because of X, Y and Z? Approximately 9 years.
    No, I’ve just decided that I’m actually really pissed at you. I spent days writing this post, and making sure to accurately frame it in a way that respects the experiences of both male and female survivors, and explores how the experiences are different, and nuanced and varied, but in no way is one less serious than the other . . . and then you want to come waltz in here on a feminist blog, say that we don’t pay enough attention to men, and that the issue of the vast majority of sexual assaults, which are against women, are mainly solved anyway?
    Thanks for sharing your experience, that is always, always, always welcome here, and for what small portions of your comment could be considered a genuine addition to this discussion, but for the most part? Please go take a shit all over your own blog next time, and trigger someone else with your bullshit about how women have already been taught to identify sexual violence committed against them.

She further went on to accuse him of stating that women victims have it easy because they are always believed and always taken seriously. Not once had he said any such thing, and when a few others commented chastising her for her actions, including one woman who had been a fan of hers but was very angry over her treatment of him, she attacked them, as well.

  1. Toysoldier on March 26, 2009 11:46 am

    Cara, I did not say that sexual violence against women is solved. I said that the sentiments Kimmel expressed, the idea that women ought to simply laugh off rape if it is mentioned publicly, is no longer allowed. No one would dare make light of female rape in the manner Kimmel did because of the advocacy in the last few decades. It is unfortunate that those who managed to make that change failed to include the treatment male victims because a lot boys and young men my age do not come forward and do not seek help as a result of that.

    Likewise, I did not say that feminists do not pay enough attention to men, only that far more often they do not acknowledge male victimization or consider it as traumatic or as important an issue as female victimization. I assumed that you considered male victimization an equally important issue and the opinions of male victims equally valid, however, based on your response to me I suppose I was wrong. Apparently neither my experience or my opinion of it is valid.

    I find your response interesting because I am a male survivor of female and male sexual abuse. I shared with you what my experience has been (in terms of victim advocacy and support services), only be told that I am attacking you and triggering you for sharing what I and many male survivors have been through. I also find it interesting that you viewed my comments as telling to you, as a woman, how you have been taught to identify sexual violence committed against you, yet you have no problem in your posts telling me, as a man, how I have been taught to identify with the sexual violence I experienced. I only offered another aspect that you, as a woman, were likely not aware of and would not have experienced. Again, I would think that you would be open to hearing the experiences of male victims, but instead you simply shut me down.

    I apologize if you were offended. It is good that on some level you find sexual violence against males wrong. However, it is most unfortunate that you appear unwilling to listen to the male victims on whose behalf you feel free to speak. As it is your blog, I will do as you ask and keep silent about my experiences and rape the other males. It is unfortunate that you appear to believe no boy or man who has been abused should ever speak on his own behalf about his experience, particularly if his views contrasted with what you purport he experienced both in terms of his victimization and how society responds to his victimization.

Her response:

  1. Cara on March 26, 2009 5:36 pm

    So Toysoldiers not only misconstrued my comment, he also wrote a blog post further misconstruing it and saying that I just don’t want to listen to male survivors — rather than, I don’t want to listen to male survivors telling me about how female survivors have it easier.

    So guess who just got banned? Damn, you all are good at this game!

    This is why I’m taking a break from all things blogging for the weekend. I close the blog . . . NOW.

[I decided to post a link to her article due to the facts I have always tried to provide the other side when posting against someone and because I feel it necessary to show the mentality of feminists. I posted the comments of the visitor as well as the poster’s replies to him because I feel it is important to see the mentality shared by so many feminists. For an even better picture of her attitude and those who were shocked by her behavior, including women, take a look for yourself.]

Feminists will continue to destroy every attempt we women put forth to be treated with respect because of their constant refusal to show the same respect to men. Abuse is abuse and should never matter the gender but rather the need to end it all. Until feminists get that into their heads, they will never be part of the solution but always part of the problem.

Getting back on track….

We have the stigma of men and teenage boys who are raped by women that implies a man is weak, a “wuss,” or is “gay” for not enjoying the aggressive sexuality of the woman. Teenage boys are taught this attitude, purposefully or inadvertently, all through childhood, so it is nearly impossible for them to admit to their assault when dads and peers will only make fun of them for complaining about “getting laid” and for being overpowered by a woman in the first place.

Little boys who are raped by their mothers are completely at a loss because they don’t understand what is happening but feel it isn’t right. More confusing still is that the abuser is mom and mom is supposed to be the parent who fixes all the boo-boos and makes the nightmares go away. Same with little girls who are raped by their fathers. Dads are supposed to protect their daughters from the boy pulling their pig tales or the man leering at them.

Men who are raped simply have it ingrained into their psyche not to hurt women. Yes, when it comes to self-defense, you’d think all prior learned chivalry would be forgotten. However, when a behavior or attitude has been deeply fixed into the mind, it takes charge over everything else when a choice has to be made.

In the case of a man who is being assaulted, he wants to fight back, knows he has the right to fight back, knows he can more than likely overpower her, but the trigger in his mind that will allow him to act upon it is blocked by the brow-beating he learned in youth of how cowardly it is to hurt a woman, how shameful it is to beat up on a woman, that men who beat up women are mocked and called bully and looked down upon by society.

Abusing women is wrong, of course, but women who take advantage of men who respect them are no better than men crucified for abusing women.

Then, there is also the inability to deny the assault should he fight back and leave marks. Try being a man explaining to his friends why the woman he is accused of beating up was trying to have sex with him and wouldn’t listen when he said, “No.” That man would be ridiculed for the rest of his life for not only having to beat a woman up to make her leave him alone but for saying “no” to sex to begin with. Men, after all, are made to feel they should always be ready and lucky if they get it. Unfortunately, it is the men who have put themselves in this position, though society seems to have gladly allowed them to be stuck in this no win situation.

When you take all of this and apply it to a teenage boy going through puberty and the most difficult years of development, you can only imagine how horrific such an experience can be. When you have people on talk shows and comedy specials mocking these teenage boys who have been raped by their teachers, it makes their situation even worse and suggests to silent victims what will happen if they should ever come forward.

And so you have women who continue to rape and abuse men and boys – because our society nearly gives them a free pass to do so.

Women’s organizations and anti-child sexual abuse advocates who only focus on male abusers need to start realizing that this is a vicious circle encompassing us all and that victims of women can just as easily grow up to be abusers, too. We cannot afford to ignore any angle to sexual abuse if we are ever going to win this war. Doing so will only increase the abuse by those we pretend are above suspicion, resulting in adults who cannot function normally in a society where women are only treated as victim and never at fault.

I encourage everyone, especially those who believe women abusers are an anomaly, to read this page by the Equal Justice Foundation (menu for the site is at the top and clearly indicates articles of interest). I, also, want to bring attention to the addition by Congress in 2005 to the Violence Against Women Act that demands sanctuary be given to male victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. That was in 2005 but I cannot recall ever seeing it or hearing about it on the news or anywhere in the media, especially with the kind of press bills for women receive on a daily basis.

What is wrong with our society when it’s okay for men and teenage boys to be raped? To be tortured? To be beaten and abused?

On the compassion side, it is wrong and should make us feel ashamed for ever letting such apathy toward male victims to exist.

On the side of logic and reason, how much common sense does it make to treat male victims of women as “pussies” and “freaks” and insignificant when we know they will develop a hatred for women resulting in even more domestic violence and rape?

Regardless of victim and assailant, rape is wrong! Until we stop joking about any form or victim and start taking every incident just as seriously as others, we will never win against sexual abuse and those who abuse. You cannot kill the infestation if you only focus on one corner of a hive.

From Women Pedophiles and Sexual Abusers at Warriors For Innocence:

A study found that 70% of female sex abusers use violence against their victims. [1]

65% of the women in a study revealed that the abuse by their mothers was of a violent nature. Abuse of boys is often done in a seductive manner and may be gentler but it is still harmful. [2]

Often preying on their own children, women abuse their roles as caregivers and shatter trust that can never be repaired. Children raised in an abusive environment often don’t realize anything is wrong until later on. “Sexual abuse by women often starts under the guise of caretaking; fondling a child’s genitals as part of bathing and application of medication to the genitals; insertion of suppositories and enemas can also be used for sexual gratification on the part of the abuser. Frequent use of enemas and humiliating inspections of genital cleanliness are often reported by victims of female perpetrators. For female victims the abuse can be violent and brutal.” [3]

It is estimated that 64% of the sexual abuse committed by females were crimes against biological relatives and 19% were against victims who were unrelated to the offender. The age of onset of the abuse was 3.2 years old. [4]

University of Wisconsin Male Rape Facts:

Sexual Assault Myths/Facts

  1. Myth: Men can’t be sexually assaulted.
    Fact: In 2002, one in every eight rape victims were male.
  2. Myth: Only gay men are sexually assaulted.
    Fact: About 40% of rape victims identify themselves as heterosexual.
  3. Myth: It is only gay men that sexually assault other men.
    Fact: The vast majority of men who sexually assault other men identify themselves as heterosexual.
  4. Myth: Adult men cannot be sexually assaulted by women.
    Fact: Although the majority of perpetrators are male (97-98%) women can and do also sexually assault men. If you include emotional blackmail as a way of giving the victim no choice, then the number greatly increases.
  5. Myth: Male victims don’t suffer as bad as female victims; after all they can’t become pregnant.
    Fact: All rape victims suffer in many different ways, some responses are gender specific and some are not. Although men cannot become pregnant, anal rape does have a much higher risk of internal tearing and damage, and with that comes a higher risk of possible HIV transmission.
  6. Myth: Getting an erection or ejaculation during sexual assault means “you really wanted it” or you consented.
    Fact: Getting an erection shows nothing other than your body responds the way it is suppose to. It has nothing to do with desire. If you were penetrated, the pressure from the prostate gland would cause an erection. Ejaculation is also very normal and some rapist will go out of their way to make sure you ejaculate, to try and make you feel ashamed, (adds to their dominate feeling of power) and they know it will likely reduce your chances of reporting the crime.
  7. Myth: Male rape only happens in prisons.
    Fact: Male rape happens a lot in prison however, men are raped outside of prison every day in their homes, cars, at work and just about anywhere.

(Taken from Abused, Empowered, Survived, Thrived website)


Other sites of interest regarding male victims of sexual and domestic violence:

Criminal Behavior of the Serial Rapist – by FBI special agents.

Evaluating A Psychological Profile of a Serial Killer

Karla Homolka: Child Rapist, Torturer and Killer

National Center On Domestic and Sexual Violence

Child Abuse Effects – Male Victims of Sexual Abuse

MaleVictims.Org

Male Victims of Sexual Assault Yahoo Search Results

Male Victims of Sexual Assault Google Search Results

June 6, 2009 - Posted by | Boys, Child Abuse, Child Advocates, Culture, Dangerous Trends, Women Abusers

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