The Ultimate Evil

A Child Abuse Awareness Blog

Living With Unstable Children And Parents Who Shouldn’t

I was recently asked to read a blog posting by a woman [screenshot of her blog is at the bottom of this post] who had adopted a girl with multiple emotional, mental, and physical disabilities. It would appear the function of the entire blog is a sort of therapy for her to cope with this “out of control” teen.

Please, don’t misunderstand anything I am about to say to mean I don’t care about the blood, sweat, and tears that go into looking after such a child. I know, personally, that writing about stressful situations is sometimes the best therapy of all, and when it comes to parenting, it is a far greater thing to relieve that stress in rants to others than on your child.

That being said, I was appalled – even to tears – by what I read. Especially when I realized she was referring to a young girl with, among other things, cerebral palsy as a “bitching and screaming” burden.

It, also, occurred to me that this same 13 year old girl could quite easily come across these blogs published on the internet for any Tom, Dick, or Jane to read and post equally as spiteful comments, as many of this woman’s supporters who do not know this family from Adam and Eve have done.

As Rob Taylor said in his comment: Can you imagine coming across a blog posted by your spouse about how they were sick and tired of coming home to you and of your mere presence?

Imagine a 13 year old girl with multiple mental, emotional, and physical disorders, who was in foster care, was adopted by this woman who then adopted more kids when the girl didn’t become the angel she thought she could manipulate out of her, coming across this blog. The heartbreak this poor girl would feel! Back behind the mental iron curtain she would run.

I can assure you this is NOT an effective way to reach a mentally challenged, highly excitable child! For that matter, I wouldn’t care if the girl were completely healthy. You just don’t go online posting how much you hate being around your kid or even saying it in public, let alone feeling it and believing it’s okay. It’s evil and hateful and no descent parent would ever do such a thing.

It’s good to have an outlet to express your stress. There is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is that A. You feel it necessary to involve strangers on the internet on a site where your child could easily come across and see it and B. Perhaps if you spent more time working on the child’s issues rather than the extensive hours it has taken to fill that blog bitching about it, there wouldn’t be so many problems.

I have to praise Rob Taylor for reporting this woman to CPS. If he didn’t I would! For a better understanding of why we feel this measure is necessary, look at her other blogs. In particular, how she talks about the lack of care and concern over the girl’s welfare and leaving the ill child home alone for hours at a time.

In the blog I linked to above, the mother mentions how upset her daughter made her after an enjoyable vacation without her child resulted in an “attitude” of sorts upon her return home. The family went to a ceremony for the two younger adopted (or foster) siblings, which the teen daughter was not allowed to attend. They had sent her away for what is called a “respite”.

Respite care is what is offered to caregivers of special needs loved ones. These needs can include the elderly and family members with mental disabilities such as autism, bi-polar, dementia, and RAD: Reactive Attachment Disorder – which is as controversial as ADD and ADHD in that it is the new-age diagnosis given to a child by prescription-loving therapists for any amount of rebellious behavior. This is not to say it isn’t a real thing, as ADD and ADHD are real things. It is to say that it is clearly over-diagnosed and is, therefore, not treated as seriously as it must in the cases of real sufferers.

I won’t condemn or judge anyone for using respite services.

I, myself, looked after my grandmother of 90 for several months. It was not a full time job as there were in-home nurses who came to sit from time to time and other relatives. I can tell you that I could not have done it 24/7, and I adored my grandmother.

On her good days, she was like a kid with me. We watched baseball together – I was always a Braves fan and we watched the World Series together, she cheering just as loudly as I when they won. We played cards together, laughed together, and talked about what others might call “boring” things from time to time.

Her bad days consisted of an unwillingness to want to get up, to move about, to eat, to drink, to take her medicine. She would snap at everything I did and said, and I would just wish for the good day to start again. A little because it was frustrating but mostly because it hurt me to see her this way and I wanted the “normal” Grandma back.

On every day, good or bad, I had to be there to help her from her bed, to her bed, from her chair, to her chair, to the table, from the table, to the toilet, and from the toilet. Helping her to the toilet consisted of helping her wipe and cleaning up urine and feces when she started before hitting the seat, or from her bed or floor on the days she refused to get up from the bed to use the restroom.

As much as I adored my grandmother (“bestemor” in Norwegian), I hated those days and wished for my 9 hours to be over. Of course, I’m ashamed of that now just as ashamed as I am that I didn’t speak to her more about our Viking heritage when I had the chance. I was only 18, though, and thought more of myself and the friends and fun I was missing.

I understand “respite” and am so happy for its existence for those in situations like this and like the mother of the blog talking about her daughter.

My problem is that with this particular person and those like her, it seems this girl is more of a throw away, a government paycheck, and a way for “mom” to get “it’s all about me” moments with her friends on the internet. “Respite” in this situation seems to be used more often than not, and by a woman who claims she took the girl in with the full intention of “fixing her” (so to speak) and swearing she hasn’t given up (though sends her away while the rest of the family goes on family outings, to special celebrations, to time to spend with the new kids in the household, and for internet blogging time).

I couldn’t help but wonder as I skimmed through her other blogs just when she actually spends quality time with the girl. When my child advocacy colleague, Rob Taylor, mentioned in a comment that spending time with her daughter might do more good than writing a blog bad mouthing her and sending her away so often, he was attacked by her and the other moms posting on her blog who have similar children and seem to also be online bitching and moaning rather than caring for their children.

Of course I understand time with the child isn’t the solution to the entire situation. However, refusing to let her attend a special family ceremony then getting upset that she isn’t “all ears” and thrilled about the brothers’ gifts is just wicked and not at all the trademark of a loving, considerate parent. Then there is the factor that she is your child and not the child of a stranger at the respite institution; therefore, deserves her parent’s time as much as any other child in the house.

Kids with disabilities are not easy to care for. I have them in my family and I know the stress factor. I also know by watching the parents – my brother and his wife as well as cousins – that only a kind hearted, compassionate, devoted parent should ever be responsible for children like these.

People who knowingly adopt children with mental, emotional, and/or physical disabilities are making a promise to that child to love them unconditionally and help them through the bad days, not just be there for the good. Children, especially foster children and adoptees, need to believe in those taking the role of parent – whether by birth or government document.

It is cruel and abusive to treat a child as a lost cause, as a burden, as a cause of family stress and problems. Children scarred by any form of disability as with abuse are constantly seeking an adult who will truly care about them enough to look past those invisible scars and care enough to tear down those defensive walls around their hearts and minds.

Kids like this put up walls just to see if anyone will care enough to tear them down. They need to know they can trust someone with their heart after having it hurt so much by others. They need to know someone is there for the long haul and won’t bail on them when they need them most. We all put up barriers from time to time. It’s heart wrenching when a child, in his/her young life, has been put in situations to do the same.

Sending a child away because they are trouble won’t build trust and break down the walls and show that child you really love them and won’t leave, no matter how hard it gets.

Keeping a child from family activities won’t do it.

Telling them to their face or behind their back they are more trouble than they are worth won’t do it.

Bringing more children into the household because you feel you failed the first time won’t do it.

Showing off gifts other family members received while keeping the child from receiving any won’t do it.

Not only is this behavior cruel and heartless, these are all forms of abuse and neglect.

How could a person treat a child this way? I don’t care how much a kid screams and yells, throws things or argues. No child deserves to be treated like the household pet! And a pet that is unwanted at that!

I know this post is a break from my usual child sexual abuse blogging, but I couldn’t let this go. Not after crying so hard from reading the pure hateful rants of this person and her net friends towards this suffering child. It hurt me so much reading those things, and I’m not even the daughter. I can only imagine what she is told at home, how she is treated, and what happens to her when no one is home to monitor this woman. I can’t imagine how much pain this girl will be in if she ever finds the blog, or how much she is in if she has already.

Although it seems I am posting this about one particular woman about one particular situation, I am not. It is merely a springboard for addressing any parent (biological or otherwise) in this situation in the hopes you realize what you are doing to your child should you behave in these ways.

Sometimes when life is really chaotic and wearing us down, we don’t realize our actions and how those actions affect others. I’m laying it out right here for you to understand your actions do have consequences and children with disabilities are intelligent enough to know when they are unwanted and seen as nothing more than burdens.

If you feel the ways this woman feels and speak of your child the way this woman does, please seek counseling before you lose your child forever and they become yet another statistic on the evening news.

A child is a child is a child. They did not ask to be inflicted with their problems, and as adults taking responsibility for their care, it is a parent’s responsibility to let that child know it is not their fault, they are not burdens, and they are very much loved every single day. If you choose to give birth to or take in a child with mental, emotional, and/or physical inflictions, remember that it was your decision – not the child’s . You have no right taking your regret out on that child.

You can see more on this story at Red-Alerts.com by Rob Taylor.


(click for larger view – I am posting this screenshot because she has her blog set to private now due to Rob’s assessment of her parenting skills and the fear of his report to CPS. I post this screen shot because it is in all fairness that you are able to see both sides of my post and make your judgment accordingly. I don’t tell one side – my side – if I can help it.)

*UPDATE*

Now that the sympathy squad of enabling women from this person’s blog are making their appearances on Rob’s and my blogs (whether they leave a comment or not, ISP advisor reports they are circling) and a couple are attempting to post annonymous comments (like the one I just approved from Boston, Massachusetts IP#71.184.190 ) because they are too cowardly to post under their account as they did on “Mother of the year’s” blog, I have decided to publish a few screenshots exposing their mentality. At least the mentality it takes for people like this to verbally and emotionally abuse (maybe physically?) an already emotionally unstable child (Way to respond to RAD!).

Oh, yes, it’s such a nightmare to come home to a child that was sent away because she wasn’t good enough to join in a family milestone and the adoption of the new kids to take her place.

Rob’s first comment is posted on his own blog. After he was attacked by the Mothers Who Don’t Give A Damn squad, accusing him of not knowing anything about children with disabilities, not knowing how to contact CPS (lol It would blow their mind if they knew the full story on just what kind of contacts we have in our dealings with child abuse and abusers), and even calling Rob a pedophile (slanderous but Rob is above that – good news for them), I had this to say:

Rob commented once again:

And mimi4now came back with a repeat of what had been posted about Rob before, with the inclusion of this little gem:

“Any good deeds you have done that were mentioned by SMP were just negated.”

Yes, it seems the mentality of these individuals leads them to feel the years of defending children of rape, molestation, physical violence, and child porn all culminate to a crap pile simply because he called their group bashing of an ill 13 year old girl a “circle jerk”.

I particularly like how Annie reveals they leave their special needs child with a sitter … while all the while through the comments she and others are complaining that they can barely be around their child and dare anyone else to for even 5 minutes. Please, do let CPS know the name of this sitter so they will better pair deserving parents up with these children in the future!

If this is how they treat a concerned citizen and a comment by an internet stranger, imagine how they must speak to and handle a mentally and physically challenged teenager in their home!

For their information and those reading who are wondering, we looked through all of this woman’s blogs as well as those of some of the commenters. Not just Rob and I but several others, like Legally Kidnapped, who are invested in child advocacy, as well (thanks to Sue from Warriors For Innocence for the numerous screen captures).

Unfortunately, we were unable to gather as many screen shots as we wanted before she made her blog private (though CPS has legal access through Blogger, itself), so you cannot see both sides. If she wants others to believe we are not telling the whole story, she simply needs to open her blog back up to reveal all of her past postings that we report are brazen attempts at attention and “poor me” syndrome behavior.

Of course, it would also reveal how much time she and her net buddies spend online bitching about their chosen motherhood to unwell children rather than with their disabled kids. I don’t think they want that. It would “negate” all the defense they’ve poured over Torina.

It is quite clear to us that these women spend most of their time on the internet and very little with their special needs kids, and much of that time is taking them to respite homes.

Why do I make this seemingly rude statement? In the years of investigating online predators and pedophiles, I’ve also blogged in my free time and come across these very same people. We all have. The type, I mean. You can tell they live on the internet because they panic and go into an irrational uproar when one person upsets the delicate balance of their manipulated internet friends’ ass kissing.

Not to mention my IP tracker has been in a fury since early last night with some of the same visitors coming at 1AM, 3AM, 6AM and still arriving (time is now 11:48AM). Where are their special needs kids while they are hovering around my blog for over 12 hours straight?!?!

You’re damned right we’re calling CPS, anonymous in Boston, Mass! Get off your damned computer and tend to your child! Pathetic excuse for mothers, the lot of them!

March 22, 2009 - Posted by | Child Abuse, Dangerous Trends, Girls, What Makes a child a Target

18 Comments »

  1. “Kids like this put up walls just to see if anyone will care enough to tear them down. They need to know they can trust someone with their heart after having it hurt so much by others. They need to know someone is there for the long haul and won’t bail on them when they need them most. We all put up barriers from time to time. It’s heart wrenching when a child, in his/her young life, has been put in situations to do the same.”

    That’s awesome. I wish I would have thought to say that to her, before she banned me and set her blog to private. I just hope that kid ends up OK

    Comment by Rob Taylor | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  2. Thank you, Rob! I know what you mean. I’m really worried about that little girl and the hundreds, possibly thousands like her.

    Comment by TUECAA | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  3. Isn’t it unimaginable that someone could choose to bring a child into her home, and then treat the child so hatefully? Even after reading all the heartbreaking stuff Rob blogs about, this situation really got to me. I shudder to think what kind of life this girl will lead.

    Comment by Jenn Q. Public | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  4. You are such a jerk, you are taking things WAY out of context, she is a very nice person and she is using the blog to vent and stay sane in an extremely stressful situation. She does not say this to her child, she’s sharing it with the only people who understand, other adoptive parents of older children. And her child is not on the internet, if you had ANY experience with these issues you would know that.
    How many extremely difficult children have you adopted? Are you volunteering to try it before judging?
    Believe me, I was also very judgemental before I adopted. You need to live it to understand. Social workers burn out, mental ward nurses burn out, but we are not allowed to burn out so we need to vent. Calling CPS because you are ignorant, and moving this child once again, will totally destroy the child. The kids are already bounced around so much, my kid was in 9 home in 3 years! Think carefully and do your research before YOU damage the kids even more. Do you even know how hard it is to find a family to take in a teen girl with severe issues? She will be bounced around forever.

    Comment by Anonymous | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  5. Way to use my own words in her defense, Anonymous from Boston, Mass – IP IP#71.184.190.

    I already said there is nothing wrong with venting to people about stressful situations, and the only way you are able to come here and claim she is a nice person who loves her child and cares for her is because she has closed her abusive blog off to the public so no one can see what kind of a low life she is.

    I pity you for being swindled by her, though that is of your own accord and I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, which is swiftly dwindling to naught as I read your comment again.

    Perhaps you really do have a child like this and you need to readily believe her. Well, that’s fine. I understand your need to connect with someone who might understand your situation.

    However, has it ever occurred to you how odd it is everytime she has been questioned, she comes up with another ailment her daughter suffers? The list is endless and in her letter to Rob, she states her daughter also has severe brain damage that prevents her from being able to navigate the internet and read her blog (yet, the girl can comprehend Hannah Montana and play Wii).

    A girl with RAD, ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and cerebral palsy is referred to as a “bitching and screaming” burden. Is there anywhere in that brainwashed mind of yours that will allow you for one minute to see the cruelty of such an attitude?

    Since you are an avid reader of Torina’s verbally and emotionally abusive blogs that suggest a strong possibility of physical abuse in the home, you know full well she speaks like this of her child with these disabilities on a regular basis. And you think this is perfectly okay and call ME a jerk.

    Thank you for proving my point about her allies.

    My brother has a little girl with spina bifida. I have a cousin with boys who have the severest case of ADHD. My husband’s cousin has Down Syndrome, and there are others in both our families with FAS.

    NEVER in all of my years of knowing ANY of these people have I EVER witnessed ANY of them referring to their children as burdens! They would sooner drive a red hot poker through their eye before doing such a thing – publicly or on a blog!

    I suppose, though, that is because most are biological parents. Not people looking to score a government paycheck for a disabled child.

    If you think I’m wrong, explain to me why this woman who rants and bitches and moans about one disabled child being a burden goes off and adopts more children. The one she has needs help, but she sends her off while taking in more. And this is her answer to helping a teenager with RAD?!

    This is the mother you admire?! Birds of a feather, I suppose.

    Yes, CPS will be called to investigate this situation. You seem to be afraid of them being taken away. If there is nothing going on, why worry? Hmmmm….

    And you think a child living in the abusive situation she is in is better than another chance at a LOVING family? You think sending this girl with RAD and emotional problems off to strangers to watch on a regular basis while her adoptive mom dotes on the other children is better than another chance at another environment?!

    What a whackjob you are. Seriously. I try to remain professional but there are times when assholes like Torina and you come along and I just cannot bite my tongue. Insensitive, cruel, unworthy-of-ANY-child losers.

    Comment by TUECAA | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  6. My son has FAS from his mother drinking excessively while pregnant. He is on the far end of the spectrum with an IQ of 50. He understands Nintendo and television and [presents as a “typical” child but cannot read or access the internet (and may never be able to) . Just because someone has brain damage does not mean that they cannot “comprehend Hannah Montana or use Wii” as you said.

    We have had CPS called on us a couple of times. My son hollers at all hours. He has suffered physical abuse at his bio-families hands and has flashbacks. I was thankful that a neighbor was concerned enough about my child or ANY child to call CPS to protect them from what they ASSUMED was going on. We have professionals in our child’s life who backed up our “stories”. We have those in our life that know his history and his special needs. I went to these neighbors and explained the situation. I asked them to spend time with us to get to know my son and his issues. I made them understand I was not angry. Our professionals stood by us. So will Torina’s, and good will prevail. She is an awesome mom regardless of what small snippet you have read of hers and made a quick assumption.

    When I began blogging I found a couple blogs I disagreed with their way of speaking about their child. I was appalled initially. Even commented. I thought, even if I had felt those things I would’ve never said them on my blog. . .

    THEN, I read more. I read past entries. I stayed for the ride. I understood that better they “vomit” it out on the page than do anything else that you may or may not accuse them of. I live it. I get it. I see their heart. I see the love they have for their child.

    And the whole spend some time with your children comment . . . Torina is the first to say she loves snow days when the kids can play and she can enjoy them. She provides tons of activities and learning experiences. She does enjoy her kids. The behaviors our kids exhibit sometimes to us all. I don’t know how long it takes you to blog, but I can vomit out my post in under 3 minutes sometimes. My son could be pooping and I would be done before he is, so she may not be spending the time you assume she is on blogging. I have no idea because I am not there . . .and neither are you.

    I have tried to be respectful and I hope you do the same. I have not posted anonymously. I do thank you for all the time you spend helping call out predators . . . in this case you did not find one.

    Comment by Sheri | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  7. Thank you for your thoughts, Sheri, as a FAS parent as well as for being polite.

    I want to say first and foremost I would not in a million years compare her to a predator. To observe that she is not fit enough to be the parent of a child with “Tara’s” difficulties is in no way calling her a predator or comparing her to the beasts I bring down. That would be inexcusable on my part.

    There is a pattern among you all on Torina’s blog: You think that just because someone does not agree with the methods, the terminology, and the insulting attitude of Torina, a person must not know anything of the situation or have any experience with children like this.

    I could sit here and list all the relatives from my family and my husband’s, the children I’ve worked with over the years with such disabilities, and the case workers I have had candid conversations with who have removed neglected children with these disabilities from adoptive parents in it only for the money. I’ve hinted as much in my post and in my comments, but you all glaze over those statements as you did with Rob when he explained the jobs he’s had with such kids.

    It is because you all don’t want to admit there are other, more constructive ways to deal with the situation rather than sit at a computer whining about it. You cannot see past any criticism you feel as personal to understand not all parents of children like this behave as you. There are parents out there, most in fact, who don’t go online to blog about what a horrible day they’ve had with their burden of a child they chose to take in after knowing the difficulties they would face.

    If the only way to deal with a child like this is to get online and moan about it to strangers, one is simply not fit to be a parent of such a child. I’m sorry if that sounds cold but it’s fact. I put things out there cut and dry. I don’t mix emotion and opinion to a situation that is clearly working for other parents who do the exact opposite of people like Torina. Not when it’s evident they have it right and she has it wrong.

    I am not basing any ideas here on one blog. This is an accusation you guys love throwing around. You don’t want to face the facts we looked through her entire blog because then you’d have to admit you apparently missed something that we caught. I understand you don’t want to find out you’ve been “backing the wrong horse”, but fact’s a fact and she’s not the person you should be concerned for. “Tara” is!

    I am not basing any point of view on anything you believe I don’t understand. I have spelled it out in no uncertain terms within this blog the things she clearly stated in her own words on her own blog. I made nothing up. I misconstrued nothing. These are things she stated, herself, and these things are wicked and vile. You need to read back over my post to better understand that her behavior is not the norm and it is not the best way to be.

    I read by someone commenting on Rob’s blog that this was only the second time she sent the girl to a respite house. According to her letters and other blogs she made early on, this is untrue. Just because a person doesn’t come right out and say “respite house”, it doesn’t mean they haven’t used it or some replacement for it.

    Sometimes you have to know how to read between the lines and catch things bloggers don’t realize they reveal to catch it, yourself. Her readers are so enamored with her stories, however, that you won’t see it if the Creator him/herself came down and pointed it out. You’ve clearly demonstrated that by your attitudes and accusations about Rob and I after claiming to read thoroughly what we’ve posted.

    As for CPS: We aren’t saying anyone should be called because their child is out of control. We are saying CPS needs to get involved because there is a clear cut malice displayed for this girl in those blogs. Anyone who would say the things she has said about the girl, admitting to moments of neglect and verbal and emotional abuse, needs to be investigated by CPS.

    CPS does not come in and snatch a child away willy nilly. They come in and assess the situation. If there is no illegal activity, simply the case of an over-worked parent losing control over her life because of the problem child, CPS will help the parent(s) get counseling with a professional who deals with such situations. What’s the harm in that?

    You cannot, in good conscience, deny “Torina” needs counseling for her stress level with “Tara”. Blogging won’t help her, no matter how much support she weasels out of her fans with uncorroborated stories, and if she isn’t getting the proper help SHE needs, how do you think she will be able to help this innocent little girl? Especially after demonstrating a clear and present regret for having her in her home and parading around the newer, better model children?!

    Comment by TUECAA | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  8. Jenn:

    I’m sorry I forgot to reply. I’m terrified, honestly, how this girl will turn out. She’s a statistic in the making.

    What’s even more disturbing is that the child is also a sex abuse victim. I couldn’t bring anything up to that effect because there is no way for me to post Torina’s side of it. However, her friend, kendra, just mentioned it on Rob’s post.

    red-alerts.com/un-american-activities/worlds-worst-adoptive-mother-thinks-im-a-moron-or-something

    Don’t we just love when a child sex abuse victim with RAD and cerebral palsy is referred to as a “bitching burden”?

    It keeps getting sicker, doesn’t it???

    Comment by TUECAA | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  9. Well, I hope smp, you are using the “you” collectively because I haven’t even been to Rob Taylor’s blog (oddly enough my filter at work won’t let me, because it says it contains pornography, not an accusation, I just found it amusing. . . the filter won’t let me on lots of things.)

    There are other “you” comments in which I will decline to be a part of the collective “you”. You, smp, don’t know me or what I agree with. Your generalizations here in the “you” comments may not always include me. You cannot assume I agree with everything I read on any blog.

    I am not “enamored” with her stories, I feel for them and her and Tara. I just happen to live it. Not a niece or a nephew, a real live child in my home 24-7. I took flack a few years back for saying on my blog that I felt relief that my son was in a psych hospital. What that person didn’t understand was that you can’t live with a child waking you up in the middle of the night, standing over you with a knife and saying “THEY told me to” and not feel relief that he is not there at that moment. I suppose that sounds negligent as well. Truth is you can’t really understand what is going on in a home unless you are there and truth is I am not in Torina’s home and neither are you.

    Thank you for your comments and thanks for your respectfulness. I will continue to read her blog as I know what she is going through.

    Comment by Sheri | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  10. Oh SMP you and I are such “jerks” for not taking random people’s word for it Torina is a great mother when her one blog proves she goes against standard practices for R.A.D. children and she goes on record as calling her daughter an emotional burden, in public to strangers.

    When will we learn to accept perfidy and leave people like Torina to do that wonderful job she’s doing. You know the one that has led to mysterious sexual acting out…

    Comment by Rob Taylor | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  11. Sheri: Yes, I was using “you” in the blanket sense. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

    We could go round and round arguing semantics, but it’s pointless diatribe as been proved time and time again.

    It makes no difference if I live with a troubled child or not. It would take a blind, deaf, dumb, ill-bred and uneducated dolt to not see “Torina” isn’t doing “Tara” any good with her attitude, cut downs, and behavior, not to mention her amount of un-treated stress.

    As for the suggestion by you and others that I don’t have a clue about difficult children, children like this, or cannot compare my experiences with nieces or nephews or cousins to what you guys face, there is an assumption about me you are not familiar with me enough to make. As you say I don’t know what goes on in Torina’s home, you do not know about mine.

    I, unlike Torina and other careless bloggers like her throughout the net who post images of their children and information that will lead predators easily to their homes, refuse to divulge personal information about me or my child.

    I have been goaded by much more worthy adversaries in an attempt to reveal personal details of my life with the purpose to do me or my family harm in retaliation for bringing down child predators, child rapists and child pornographers. I don’t do it. It’s my primary rule on the net and I stick to that no matter how hard someone pushes, trying any strategy in their painfully limited mental arsenal to get me to slip up.

    I will say this: I am a stay at home mom who homeschools a child who cannot properly function for particular reasons in a school environment. Part of that reason is because she was clinically dead for three minutes after a very traumatic birth, after which she spent a week in NICU. Now, she isn’t nearly in the condition of “Tara” or sufferers of FAS, RAD, or more severe mental defects. I do, however, know a taste of what some go through and I have never, in all my years as her mother, left her with a babysitter of any kind. My husband and I have never gone out without her since birth. She has never left my vision or earshot. Having her home with me 24/7 to homeschool, to be her everything when we aren’t in Karate would never persuade me to call her a “bitching burden”, regardless of the difficulties I may or may not face day to day.

    No, I don’t know exactly what happens in Torina’s home. I know exactly what she says happens and exactly how she says she reacts. I am acting accordingly. If she is lying, it’s up to her to stop or face the consequences of someone like me coming across her own words and calling her out on her inappropriate behavior.

    I don’t need to be in her home to know what she is saying is wrong, that her actions are not the cornerstone of good parenting. I’m using her own testimony for that.

    I realize there is an issue with everyone at that blog as well as commenting here and on Rob’s blog regarding our seeming fascination with her “one” blog post. Let me clarify:

    Though I read through her blogs and came to my conclusions after thoroughly getting to know the personality behind those blogs, I cannot speak of them specifically because I am unable to link back to them or show them as screen shots. This is not the way I conduct my editorials, regardless of what I am writing. To do so would be giving my account with no way for anyone to see the other side and form their own informed opinion. This is unfair to the other person and I don’t do it.

    I take pride in the integrity with which I run my awareness sites. I can back up everything I claim because if I cannot verify something and prove it with a link or a screen capture, it doesn’t get posted.

    In this line of work, character is crucial. A person cannot come to the aid of an abused child if their character and intent are questionable by law enforcement and in court. For me and anyone like me, we have to make darned sure we are open and honest in all we do for children so that when we are presented with an opportunity to help, we don’t become yet another adult who lets them down and possibly makes their situation worse.

    You are more than welcome to browse as you wish on my blogs. I’d be honored if anything here helps you in your own life.

    Comment by TUECAA | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  12. Rob, I am still very much interested in that sexual behavior issue with Tara. That’s why I’m not letting this go, she can block me all she wants.

    Comment by TUECAA | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  13. I feel it necessary to proclaim unequivocally that the sly insinuation there must be porn on Rob’s blog to cause a server to reject it is childish and in no way based upon fact.

    That any server would restrict access to his blog based upon “porn” suggests it is due to the posts he has published exposing child pornographers and the evils of child porn, but this is rather odd since the server allowed my blog to be accessed and clearly, my blog is riddled with posts regarding child pornography issues.

    I won’t state the reason for which I’m sure mentioning the “porn” block was intended when it would have simply done as well to state “The server wouldn’t let me access his site” and leave it at that.

    I will say that I think adding such a statement before attempting to sound reasonable was quite silly and a huge mistake.

    Attempting to discredit a person who fights against crimes against children simply because they say something you don’t agree with is pathetically childish, selfish, and moronic. “You” being both a blanket as well as a direct statement.

    I will not tolerate having any of my fellow children’s rights advocates slanderized, insulted, or their good name in any way soiled by infantile cretin who cannot handle internet disagreements, particularly when those disagreements involve debating people supporting abusive behavior toward children.

    Comment by TUECAA | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  14. Truly smp, I did not mean to insinuate it was porn. I found it funny. The filter I use at work is quite stringent and it won’t allow me many places includes ebay sometimes and myspace. I have no control over it. I am certain it was because the site simply includes the words pornography. It is a silly filter and I meant nothing other than that.

    Comment by Sheri | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  15. Let me guess. My posts about sexual abuse are now completely invalidated by my ads for a second tier Match.com?

    It just shows you how childish these women are that they equate Red Alerts with porn and can’t see the abuse of Tara right in front of their face.

    Comment by Rob Taylor | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  16. Of course Sherri. We all know you’d never insinuate anything bad about others on the internet. Like that they’re pornographers, or idiots, or mentally ill wild children who put their parents through hell…

    Comment by Rob Taylor | March 24, 2009 | Reply

  17. Why is it that everyone who thinks they are so smart and knows what everyone is thinking, cannot look at a post and spell a name correctly? Happens all the times. Usually by people who are full of themselves.

    Comment by Sheri | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  18. Is the misspelling of your name more important than the abuse of a child?

    This is the kind of behavior I would expect from someone who defends a child abuser like Torina, calls children’s rights advocates idiots and pornographers, suggests that no one here but you could possibly know what living with a mentally challenged child is like, and then expects respect for none shown.

    He misspelled your name. It’s the net. Get over it. Your real name could be LoraLee for all we know. It doesn’t matter. This post isn’t about “Sheri and her precious name”.

    I’ve, honestly, grown weary of your attempt to make a mockery of things here. I don’t have time straightening you out anymore. You’re done dragging up the horse and beating it over and over with the same tired remarks that have been addressed several times, so now you’re instigating a tit-for-tat. You are no longer allowed to comment on my blog.

    Good day.

    Comment by TUECAA | March 25, 2009 | Reply


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