Vanessa Williams has come forward to speak about molestation and its impact on young girls. It wasn’t a long testimonial, but its message is undeniable. Below is a summary of what she said on Oprah’s Master Class. At the bottom of the article is the video of her complete interview. It’s short (2 minutes) and makes so many valuable points.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 | 3:04 PM
Vanessa Williams Opens Up About Being Molested As a Child
By Lauren Turner
Actress Vanessa Williams, 51, is opening up about being molested by an older girl.
In an appearance on Oprah’s Master Class, the former Miss America said her molestation by an older family friend, made her “more sexually promiscuous and more curious at a younger age than I should’ve been.”
The summer before fifth grade, Williams went to California with family for the first time. While there, she stayed with a family friend and was introduced to their then 18-year-old daughter. She described the girl as being “one of the cool girls” who “made you feel like you were a grown up.”
When the girl came into Williams’ room one right, what was once admiration, took a new turn. “She told me to lie down on the floor,” says Williams. “She took my bottoms of and she told me to be quiet, and she went down on me. And at 10 years old, I had no idea what it was, but I knew it felt good and I knew I shouldn’t be saying anything…I knew it felt good, but it was also something that I knew wasn’t supposed to be happening.”
This conflicted feeling stuck with Williams, long after that night. But because of family drama surrounding the death of her father’s brother, Williams thought it wasn’t the right time to say anything. Her molestation left her with years of shame and guilt.
“At that young age, having that happen to you, in your body, it awakens your sexuality at an age that it shouldn’t be awakened,” she said. “I think that had that not happened in my life, and I had an opportunity to have a normal courtship with a boyfriend at 16 or whatever, and have your normal first kiss, you know, there wouldn’t have been that shame that was kind of always haunting me.”
1. Sexual abuse is not only committed by adults.
2. Sexual abuse is not only a crime committed by men.
3. Sexual abuse creates sexuality in young children when they shouldn’t be sexually active.
4. Sexual abuse makes children become mature in ways they shouldn’t have to, including shouldering the burden of their abuse for the sake others.
The issue of belonging is something used by bullies at school, members of gangs, and pedophiles grooming their prey. It starts with little things: “If you want to be cool like me, you’ll smoke this/steal this/say this.” In Vanessa’s case, the 18 year old abuser introduced her to a world of free will and no consequences, smoking cigarettes and being adored by the in-crowd. By the time she came into Vanessa’s room, she had the 10 year old fawning all over her, eager to please and eager to be like her. She looked up to this older girl and didn’t know how to handle the heartbreak mixed with something her body told her felt good. She chose to remain silent while her mind tried to sort through the hurt and confusion. It’s grooming and it’s what predators do all the time. We are quick to recognize it and speak out about it when it comes to bullying in school now, but we still say nothing when it comes to sexual predation. It’s too uncomfortable, so we choose the safety of our bubble instead of protecting potential victims.
Had this been an 18 year old boy, there would be no question about the assault. Had this even been two adults, we would very quickly recognize that it was unwanted sex.
Pedophiles and sexual predators would have us believe that the pleasure she felt means children enjoy sex. Understand that these are the same people who believe (and have stated publicly in interviews and in court) that a screaming infant and crying child is having an orgasm, not in pain. For a 10 year old, yes, oral sex would have a feeling of pleasure to the body because it was not intrusive, but the mind has a right to be willing, and a 10 year old’s mind is never willing. Children become confused and afraid because while their body wanted it, their mind did not. They become ashamed and feel that their body’s response means they “asked for it.” Once an abuser has a child in turmoil over the first assault, they own their mind and body. They make them feel it was their fault and if they don’t let them do it again, they threaten that everyone will find out and blame the child.
Sexual abuse is never confined to an assault on the body. It is never restricted to only sexual chaos. A victim is suddenly burdened with what to do with what just happened. Very often, there are others the victim has to think about when deciding on whether or not to tell. Who will it hurt if they tell? Whose lives will the secret impact? Often times, adult rape victims are faced with this painfully difficult situation and must remain silent, at least for the time being. Imagine a child in such a situation. Imagine a child needing to tell but watching those around her dealing with other tragedies. Imagine being a child and choosing to bury your pain so others don’t have another burden to deal with. How fair is it for us to expect such maturity from a child? Such self-sacrifice from a child who just experienced a painful and terrifying event? And yet, children do it every day.
Child victims of sexual abuse, whether it be once or many times, will never be the same or have the kind of life “normal” people have. They will always feel as if it’s wrong to enjoy sex, will always feel as if they are sluts if they instigate sex, will always wonder what it might have been to experience their first time when THEY were ready and when THEY wanted to and with someone they loved. There will always be a void that occasionally fills itself with guilt, shame, regret, despair, and longing for what they will never have because it was stolen along with their childhood.
When you want to feel sorry for pedophiles, consider how much suffering they willingly and knowingly inflicted onto their victims who will never have the beautiful memories you have and will be forever haunted about their first time.
Sometimes, someone comes along who I can feel has had an exceptionally valuable life, one that can and may someday benefit this world. There was always a kind of light from her that touched something in me, and now I know it was because she is a survivor with a beautiful soul. She chose not to let her experience define her, learned from the mistakes it caused, and moved on from it all. Now, she is speaking up and speaking out for all of those who can’t. Never give up. Never let them win.
“Stolen Valor” is the act of posing as a member of the military for various reasons, including scamming individuals out of money, businesses out of military freebies, and gaining the trust of lonely women desperately seeking companionship. Much of this stolen valor has been occurring on social networking sites like Facebook and on military websites where the fraud feels some sense of belonging while gathering information to use in his next scam.
Among the victims of the stolen valor con are children. Unfortunately, the latest school shooting tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary brought forth one such individual. The incident involving Craig Pusley, who dressed in a “borrowed” uniform and stood out in front of a California school after witnessing a similar act by a real soldier, Jordan Pritchard, has opened up the secret methods of predators for getting access to our children.
Not only was Pusley wrong for what he did (impersonating a decorated Marine Sgt with overseas combat experience), the school was even more at fault for putting their students at risk. No one at the school questioned Craig Pusley’s claims of being a servicemember. He simply showed up in a uniform and stood in front of the school entrance, where children ran up to him and parents tearfully thanked him. The school staff was elated to have this “soldier” giving up his spare time to “guard” their kids. No one asked for his identification. No one asked for his military ID. No one asked for a contact number to verify his claims. He didn’t even have children at the school. He was every bit a stranger, and the school allowed him on their property with no questions asked, simply because he wore a uniform and played upon the hysteria of our nation in the wake of Sandy Hook.
An even more worrisome ripple to this story has come in the form of support he has received. One such example is the following that has been passed around Facebook like an aggressive cancer:
“Valley marine calls himself to duty at an Elementary school. Sgt. Craig Pusley wears his desert camo fatigues…no weapons…just him. Took it upon himself to go to the nearby school and stand watch outside. The school loved it. The principal thanked him. No pay..no breaks…just his heart felt need to do this. His reward? Marine Corp Reservists says he violated protocol bt wearing his fatigues and not his dress uniform in public. Facing $10,000 fine and 5 years in prison. Also getting a “dishonorable” stamp on his “honorable” discharge. He served 2 tours in iraq, in Baghdad and Ramadi. One in Helmand province of Afghanistan before leaving active duty.
Now he is writing a letter to the President apoligizing for his actions.
WAKE UP! This man is a wonderful outstanding brave hero in my book and to think for a second that his heart felt need to go stand in front of his little neighborhood school was wrong. Screw you! The President should be sending him a Thank you letter.
So I salute you Sgt. Craig Pusley. Thank you!
This is something I would like to see go viral. Let’s stand up and say Thank you to this man who didn’t think twice…he followed his heart and there is no crime in doing that.”
This “share” isn’t just wrong because there is no threat of “dishonorable” or the other claims and because there was NEVER overseas service. It is, also, dangerous because it hails the unthinking actions of the school that put children in very real danger. There is NOTHING respectable or admirable about what he did or what the school did. They have shown the pedophile world just how easy it is to stalk school children, especially after a tragedy that has all schools raising the drawbridge and parents buying bulletproof backbacks.
Now, I’ve been accused in the past of giving predators ideas because of my thorough discussions regarding their grooming tactics and what makes children targets. I’m sure this article will come under the same scrutiny. I can assure you that these predators already know what to look for, how to target and acquire their prey, and anything I or others like me post isn’t even everything they already do. Where do you think we get our information? Pedophile forums.
Pedophiles have their own culture. They are every bit a cult as a fringe religion. They have their own secret language, their own secret meetings, their own rules, their own ideas of “right” and “wrong,” and they have their own lobbyists to make what they do legal. Their best strategy to continue their way of life is by feeding off of one another’s experiences and ideas. I can assure you, also, that this issue with Craig Pusley has been and is still being discussed in pedophile chat rooms and among pedophiles at dinners together, children’s sporting events together, and at so-called “rehab” centers for sex offenders. We hear it, we see it, and we’ve had previous cases involving military impersonators.
I, personally, have been contacted by parents whose children were approached by someone in uniform who could not provide proof of service. I’ve been contacted here by a mom whose daughter was stalked and groomed by a man impersonating a deceased soldier. The young girl didn’t think a soldier would be after anything bad, so she told him everything he wanted to know about herself, her family, and her contact information. When I pretended to be a target for pedophiles, I encountered such people, as well.
Nothing I say here is news to them. They are already doing this to get to our kids. The worse part is that schools like the one in California are making it easy for them, and people like those spreading support for impersonators like Pusley are sending the message that many in this country are still gullible idiots who refuse to consider the dangers around every corner. It’s “depressing” to live that way, so they say. I can guarantee you it’s more depressing to witness a school shooting and child abductions that happened because no one wanted to admit the dangers they were, themselves, cultivating.
We are all afraid for our children, as parents and as a collective. Turning a blind eye to the dangers, however, helps to create a world in which we have to be more fearful and our children are faced with horrors your blind eye refuses to imagine.
Craig Pusley could have been a pedophile. He could have been a child pornographer or a kidnapper for the black market in child slavery. He could have even been a stalker of a teacher. And he could have been a shooter looking for an easy angle to get into a school. No one knew because no one checked him out. They didn’t check him out because he was wearing a uniform, and they believed the uniform automatically made him safe because assuming otherwise would have been “fear-mongering” and “depressing.”
We still don’t know much more about this man than that his service claims were a lie. He could very well be any of the above, or just a typical attention seeker riding the coattails of a horrific tragedy. No one knows because no one asked and no one verified anything.
This is the perfect set up for those who would do our kids harm, and any support for behavior like this sends a clear and strong signal to predators that it works and a message to children that the adults in charge can’t keep them safe.
The Facebook share above does have one thing right: WAKE UP! Our children can’t afford to have the adults in charge of their safety ignoring dangers just because it’s depressing and an inconvenience to us. A child’s funeral is a depressing inconvenience, too.
I don’t usually do this and I am a supporter of “Boycott Amazon.com;” however, I feel this book is an excellent tool in teaching children how to deal with situations in which they may find themselves, and how to cope when a friend or loved one is a victim. Please check it out!
Publication Date: 1 Jun 2012
“A young boy learns that some friends are not friends.”12 year old Luke and his Mum flee his evil stepfather and the city for life in a country village. All looks idyllic; a new, more peaceful way of life, a new school, new best friend. Everything appears perfect until one day Luke meets the mysterious Albie, in a graveyard of all places…
Toads May Talk was written as a response to the many tragic incidences of abuse of children by people that they know. It is reported that most sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone within the child’s social sphere – for example, a relative, a family friend, a teacher, youth worker, religious leader, neighbour. Despite the stereotypical image of the abuser propagated by the media, abusers usually do not look like monsters and it is relatively rare for them to be strangers.
Toads seeks to help answer the question on every parent’s lips – “how do you teach your children to trust their instincts when they know something is not right?” It seeks to teach children about the ways in which some people, even those who are not strangers, can manipulate them.
Written as a sensitive and enjoyable tale from a young boys point of view, the story is intended to educate and empower children from ages 9 years and up. The author recommends that you read the book with your child, so that they may ask questions that may arise as they follow the story.
The tale is of a friendship between two boys, Luke and Tobias, who regularly spy on small animals in the garden hoping to hear them talk to each other. When Tobias’s father begins to become over-friendly with Luke, taking him into his confidence and introducing him to alcohol in a cool, seemingly innocent way, Luke senses something is not quite right but as many good boys who are taught to be polite to their elders, he doesn’t voice his concerns.
The story follows several incidents where Luke is under the influence of Tobias’s Father (and the ‘alcohol’ which in reality is a drug) but is taken away from the scene by meetings with the mysterious Albie. Thus, allowing the reader to learn the valuable lessons within the story without being subjected to the full reality of the situation.
It is hoped the story will serve as a gentle, compelling, sometimes amusing and, most importantly, cautionary tale for children to raise awareness and assist parents to have a conversation with them on the difficult and dark subject of child abuse. Knowledge is power.
Author’s website: http://hell4heather.com/ … http://hell4heather.com/2012/06/19/adopting-an-elfy-lifestyle/#comment-230
(***Second Update: Addendum added at bottom as rebuttal to homosexuality argument*** 9/15/2011)
(***Update at bottom of article***)
In the event this atrocity has slipped by you, the pedophiles and their buddies in the medical community are at it again. I’m speaking, of course, about their pathetic attempt to list pedophilia as simply a misunderstood sexual orientation, liking it to homosexuality and comparing the public’s view of pedophiles as has been the intolerance suffered by the gay and lesbian community (This should outrage GLAAD as much as the rest of us). There is a conference aiming at normalizing pedophilia. This time, however, this sadistic movement is getting much wider coverage and won’t be some secret mission hidden from the normal people in society who can and will stand up against it.
I would normally only post a few clippings here and have my readers follow the link to the full story; however, this is far too important to have you skipping back and forth. Here is what was planned for August 17, 2011:
By John Rossomando – The Daily Caller Published: 10:00 AM 08/15/2011 | Updated: 4:38 PM 08/15/2011
If a small group of psychiatrists and other mental health professionals have their way at a conference this week, pedophiles themselves could play a role in removing pedophilia from the American Psychiatric Association’s bible of mental illnesses — the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), set to undergo a significant revision by 2013. Critics warn that their success could lead to the decriminalization of pedophilia.
The August 17 Baltimore conference is sponsored by B4U-ACT, a group of pro-pedophile mental health professionals and sympathetic activists. According to the conference brochure, the event will examine “ways in which minor-attracted persons [pedophiles] can be involved in the DSM 5 revision process” and how the popular perceptions of pedophiles can be reframed to encourage tolerance.
Researchers from Harvard University, the Johns Hopkins University, the University of Louisville, and the University of Illinois will be among the panelists at the conference.
B4U-ACT has been active attacking the APA’s definition of pedophilia in the run up to the conference, denouncing its description of “minor-attracted persons” as “inaccurate” and “misleading” because the current DSM links pedophilia with criminality.
“It is based on data from prison studies, which completely ignore the existence of those who are law-abiding,” said Howard Kline, science director of B4U-ACT, in a July 25, 2011 press release. “The proposed new diagnostic criteria specify ages and frequencies with no scientific basis whatsoever.”
The press release announced a letter the group sent to the APA criticizing its approach, and inviting its leaders to participate in the August 17 conference. “The DSM should meet a higher standard than that,” Kline continued. “We can help them, because we are the people they are writing about.”
APA spokeswoman Erin Connors told The Daily Caller in an emailed statement that her organization was not participating in the conference and would not comment on its aims.
Child advocate Dr. Judith Reisman, a visiting professor at Liberty University’s School of Law, said the conference is part of a strategy to condition people into accepting pedophiles.
“The first thing they do is to get the public to divest from thinking of what the offender does criminally, to thinking of the offender’s emotional state, to think of him as thinking of his emotional state, [and] to empathize and sympathize,” Reisman said. “You don’t change the nation in one fell swoop; you have to change it by conditioning. The aim is to get them [pedophiles] out of prison.”
According to Reisman, empirical data show that pedophiles typically molest many children before finally being caught.
“The data on paroled pedophiles confirms these predators repeat their crimes against children and are known to have escalated them even to murder,” Reisman said.
Several speakers at the August 17 conference, including B4U-ACT director of operations Dr. Richard Kramer and conference keynote speaker Dr. Fred Berlin, of the Johns Hopkins University, have actively opposed sex offender notification laws.
“What purpose does calling someone a ‘pervert’ or ‘predator’ serve anyway, other than to express contempt and hatred?” Kramer wrote in a March 14, 2009 blog entry on the website ReformSexOffenderLaws.org. “How is this productive? It certainly doesn’t protect children. I would urge all SO [sex offender] activists to listen to their own message: Stop buying into and promoting false stereotypes. Stop demonizing a whole class of people, and start learning the facts.”
Berlin has similarly compared society’s reaction to pedophilia to that of homosexuality prior to the landmark 2003 Lawrence v. Texas decision that decriminalized sodomy.
B4U-ACT’s own website puts Berlin’s views front and center. “Just as has been the case historically with homosexuality,” he writes, “society is currently addressing the matter of pedophilia with a balance that is far more heavily weighted on the side of criminal justice solutions than on the side of mental health solutions.”
Berlin’s opposition to, and even noncompliance with, Maryland’s sex offender notification law drew scrutiny from former Maryland Attorney General J. Joseph Curran in the early 1990s.
In 1990 The Baltimore Sun reported that Berlin refused to report pedophiles under his care who were actively molesting children.
In an emailed statement to TheDC, Berlin distanced himself Monday afternoon from other B4U-ACT conference participants’ stated aims, saying that he opposes removing pedophilia from the DSM and that he hopes to stop pedophiles before they act.
Berlin also disputed Reisman’s contention that he wants to decriminalize pedophilia, noting that “society’s interests can best be served by supporting both criminal justice interventions and public health initiatives.”
Reisman remains unconvinced. “His empathy was with the pedophile and the pederast, not with the child victim,” she told TheDC. “He refused to report the criminal to law enforcement because he said they were in treatment.
“Taxpayers pay for treatment and they are molesting kids. They go out to Berlin, and he gets paid by us [the taxpayers] for therapy.”
Reisman also claims that mental health practitioners like Berlin want to place pedophilia on a par with neuroses or clinical depression, and counsel pedophiles rather than incarcerate them.
“The scientific defense of pedophiles follows on the natural outgrowth of … [Alfred Kinsey’s] 1948 book ‘Sexual Behavior of the Human Male’ where he describes the rapes of infants and children, as would any pedophile, as ‘orgasmic,’” Reisman said.
Reisman warns that declassifying pedophilia as a mental illness could result in the repeal of child-protection statutes because the law always follows the input of psychiatry. She points to psychiatry’s normalization of sadomasochism, exhibitionism, and homosexuality as precedents.
“[I]t has been carried from the university to the law, going back to Kinsey,” Reisman said.
And other conference panelists such as Jacob Breslow, a graduate student in gender research at the London School of Economics, plan to discuss how political activists can exploit removing pedophilia from the next edition of the DSM for their own ends.
“Allowing for a form of non-diagnosable minor attraction is exciting, as it creates a sexual or political identity by which activists, scholars and clinicians can better understand Minor Attracted Persons,” Breslow writes in a summary of his upcoming August 17 presentation.
“This understanding may displace the stigma, fear and objection that is naturalized as being attached to Minor Attracted Persons and may alter the terms by which non-normative sexualities are known.
I don’t call my site “The Ultimate Evil” for nothing, the same as Andrew Vachss who called his child sex slavery novel the name first.
This is what we know to be “Grooming.” Yes, pedophiles groom society the same way they groom children, though with a different desired outcome. They groom children to be complacant in their sexual abuse and to be too afraid to tell. They groom parents to accept their steadily increasing interest in their child. They groom society to accept their sexual abuse of children by first desensitizing the public (via jokes about child rape, images mocking child rape, mocking the fight against predators, demonizing television shows and news specials aimed at taking down predators, etc..), then by introducing themselves as sick or past victims who need help, until finally the only victim in their crime is the abuser him/herself.
I have had many pedophiles try to groom me and other visitors with their “oh, woe is me” comments. It has never worked. Now that this conference has taken place, I’m seeing an even slicker crowd come forth.
I just received a comment on an earlier post exposing pedophile codes and symbols by this … interesting … individual. I find it interesting that it comes on the heels of the current push to normalize pedophilia, beginning with the grooming by the pedophile community of society to show “compassion and understanding” for the abusers rather than the victims. Isn’t that what the multi-million dollar state of the art rehab centers for baby rapers are for? I can’t help but to ask yet again when victims are going to get such compassion and understanding. You know, because logic and reason dictate that in order to effectively stop the cycle of abuse, the victim must receive help as soon as possible to cope and to heal. Wouldn’t the only reason to give so much coddling to a criminal who has already created many victims, thus ensuring the continuation and expansion of the cycle of abuse, be to simply help them avoid prison?
But my intelligence and I digress…. where were we? Ah, yes. A comment by a pedophile sympathizer:
Submitted on 2011/08/26 at 5:59 pm
Whoa, that’s a lot of misplaced hatred.
Should people who rape children be sent to prison? Personally I’m more in favor of execution in instances in which guilt can be established without doubt. Why risk repeat offense?
But listen, pedophiles are not necessarily child rapists.
I knew a pedophile I respected immensely because he understood that his desires were wrong, and vowed to never, ever act on them. A tortured life to lead, but a noble one.
We may never be able to eliminate pedophilia in the sense of sexual attraction to children, but we can eliminate sexual abuse of children by teaching these people to control their urges.
Hatred for them will not help them. When they do offend, they must be permanently removed from society, and either used as slave labor, for medical experimentation, or put to death.
Not out of hatred, but necessity. If anything, compassion for them and others.
The reason some of those lines are in bold is to help you read between the lines and see the true intent of this comment. It is quite obvious this author is only after convincing me to “care about” and “understand” pedophiles. He even goes so far as to call them respectable and noble!
Let me explain something in the event you don’t already know: Pedophiles NEVER avoid children! That is an outright lie. And by the time an abuser is caught, he or she has already abused many others he groomed into silence. There has never been a case of which I am aware that a pedophile was caught the very first time he raped or molested a child. I have heard of young pedophiles being afraid of their feelings and telling someone before acting upon them. By the time a pedophile is actually caught for sexual abuse, though, they already have a history of doing so.
Pedophile sympathizers like Ambrose want us to care instead of hate. Honestly, do you really need any more proof as to the state of someone’s mind when they chastise people for hating those who rape children?
To be honest, though, I see what he is saying. In closing, let me share the wisdom of his suggestions:
Teaching pedophiles to control their urges:
Why, I can almost guarantee any thought of sex with children would suddenly become such a terror, most pedophiles would be cured! Ambrose and the pedophile loving psychos may be on to something.
And for those who are too ill for compassion and deterrants to work, there is always
For those extra tough cases involving groups of poor lost pedophiles, such as NAMBLA, there’s a
Community Rehabilitation Plan
There was an excellent show on B.A.C.A. Nation Radio last night featuring guest Dr. Judith Reisman, “scientific consultant to four U.S. Department of Justice administrations, the U.S. Department of Education, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,” an “international expert witness on human sexuality,” and an attendee at the above pro-pedophilia conference. Upon looking through information about pedophile supporter and keynote speaker at the conference, Dr. Fred Berlin (founder of the Johns Hopkins Sexual Disorders Clinic), I found an article which outlined some of the remarks made on pamphlets, by pedophile attendees, and by speakers like Berlin:
- Pedophiles are “unfairly stigmatized and demonized” by society.
- There was concern about “vice-laden diagnostic criteria” and “cultural baggage of wrongfulness.”
- “We are not required to interfere with or inhibit our child’s sexuality.”
- “Children are not inherently unable to consent” to sex with an adult.
- “In Western culture sex is taken too seriously.”
- “Anglo-American standard on age of consent is new [and ‘Puritanical’]. In Europe it was always set at 10 or 12. Ages of consent beyond that are relatively new and very strange, especially for boys. They’ve always been able to have sex at any age.”
- An adult’s desire to have sex with children is “normative.”
- Our society should “maximize individual liberty. … We have a highly moralistic society that is not consistent with liberty.”
- “Assuming children are unable to consent lends itself to criminalization and stigmatization.”
- “These things are not black and white; there are various shades of gray.”
- A consensus belief by both speakers and pedophiles in attendance was that, because it vilifies MAPs, pedophilia should be removed as a mental disorder from the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), in the same manner homosexuality was removed in 1973.
- Dr. Fred Berlin acknowledged that it was political activism, similar to that witnessed at the conference, rather than scientific considerations that successfully led to the declassification of homosexuality as a mental disorder: The reason “homosexuality was taken out of DSM is that people didn’t want the government in the bedroom,” he said.
- Dr. Berlin appeared to endorse the politically maligned clinical practice of “reparative therapy” for homosexuals and pedophiles alike, saying, “If someone, for their own reasons, doesn’t want to live a homosexual lifestyle, I tell them that it’s hard but I’ll try to help them.”
- The DSM ignores those pedophiles “have feelings of love and romance for children” in the same way adult heterosexuals and homosexuals have romantic feelings for one another.
- “The majority of pedophiles are gentle and rational.”
- The DSM should “focus on the needs” of the pedophile, and should have “a minimal focus on social control,” rather than obsessing about the “need to protect children.”
- Self-described “gay activist” and speaker Jacob Breslow said that children can properly be “the object of our attraction.” He further objectified children, suggesting that pedophiles needn’t gain consent from a child to have sex with “it” any more than we need consent from a shoe to wear it. He then used graphic, slang language to favorably describe the act of climaxing (ejaculating) “on or with” a child. No one in attendance objected to this explicit depiction of child sexual assault. [I strongly urge GLAAD to place as much distance as possible between them and this “self-descrived gay activist”, and I remind everyone that sexual abusers in certain religious cults claim their god or their prophet tells them to marry and fornicate with children.]
The author of the article, Nathan Tabor, attempted to call Johns Hopkins Hospital Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and inquire as to their knowledge of their professor’s favoritism for sexually abusing children. Although the person on the other end claimed not to know anything about it, they didn’t seem to take the call seriously. Mr. Tabor published the contact information for Berlin’s boss, Dr. J. Raymond DePaulo- director of the Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences department at John’s Hopkins, in the event those of us intellectually superior to pedophiles would like to share their opinions and concerns:
J. Raymond DePaulo, Jr., M.D.
Henry Phipps Professor and Director
Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences
“I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients
according to my ability and my judgment
and never do harm to anyone.”
***Addendum – 9-15-2011***
I received a comment by a pedophile last week that I sent directly to spam due to my refusal to participate in useless repetitive arguing. However, the comment caused me to re-read my article and the conversation with the previous pedophile sympathizer in the comments below. I came to realize that I left this post open to speculation regarding the connection with pedophilia and homosexuality. I would like to correct that unintentional oversight and express my feelings more clearly on the matter.
Pedophiles and their ilk frequently attempt to compare pedophilia with homosexuality. They want people to see them as victims of bigotry, ostracized by a small-minded public that is trying to force its ethical or religious will upon everyone. The so-called psychiatrists that are the subjects of this post lead their pedophile brethren in this attempt to psychologically manipulate society.
Never forget that these people have been trained to garner emotions and control how we feel and respond to any given situation. They know they are logically and academically incorrect in the comparison of pedophilia with homosexuality, but they realize not all of society has a medical degree, particularly in psychiatry, and the easily manipulated media certainly doesn’t take the time to research such things from a scientific point of view.
These people are counting on our gullibility and outright stupidity. Our children and generations to come are counting on us to use intelligence, rational thinking, and good old fashioned common sense.
Here is what we know to be fact:
Homosexuality is a mistake of nature, but it is, none-the-less, part of nature.
The primary purpose for intercourse is to breed and continue on the population of a species. The sensation of pleasure exists to ensure the species finds the activity acceptable enough to perform, thereby ensuring the survival of the species. If you don’t like something, you usually don’t do it, particularly if it is painful or unpleasant. For a species to continue thriving, breeding must occur.
In nature, some species rely upon forced copulation. Humans, however, have evolved beyond such primitive behavior. We can communicate with words, we can create with tools and electricity, we understand reason, and we understand that violence against another for selfish reasons is counterproductive to our evolution. We reason, theorize, experiment, and conclude based upon science instead of simply behaving as instinct in the wild dictates. This is why consensual sex is part of our ever evolving species, and heterosexual relations are necessary and normal for our kind. It is true, then, that homosexuality is not normal and it is not as nature intended us to be because it interrupts our species progression.
How, then, do we handle homosexuals and homosexuality?
Being part of a species that has evolved as I stated previously includes understanding that those born with this infliction should not be punished for that which they had no opportunity or ability to oppose. Regardless of a person’s opinion about sexual orientation, we can all agree that everyone deserves human contact in the form of affection, and human interactions that include love.
One can argue in defense of their disapproval with homosexuality, but any argument they present should be formed after they have learned the facts of homosexuality. Any effective argument in their favor must include facts and not opinion. The truth of the matter is, arguments against homosexuals do not treat the individuals as separate entities from the orientation. Furthermore, arguments against homosexuals and homosexuality have been driven by religious leanings rather than science and academic findings. We cannot impose our religious beliefs onto others. Religion is not a necessary item in our species’ growth and evolution. It is purely for spiritual growth and the presumed impact such growth has on the growth of humanity (which is another experiment altogether, and although fascinating to me, does not pertain to this article).
Judging homosexuals and homosexuality, then, from strictly a scientific perception, we see that same-sex intercourse may not be beneficial to the evolutionary cycle of mankind or the promotion of the species’ population, but consensual relations between humans at a stage in their physical and mental growth that can accept such a relationship and its consequences does no harm to the species as it cannot encourage the genes that would normally be passed on through heterosexual intercourse.
When we discuss consensual sexual relations and the affect consent vs. force has upon the human race, then associate the discussion with those who have sex with children, we see that pedophilia is quite different from homosexuality in that only pedophilia truly harms the species with a much greater impact.
Taking the identical points made in the paragraphs pertaining to homosexuality, we know based upon scientific study through psychological testing and physical examinations that pedophilia does harm the human race and attempts to halt its intellectual evolution, which will in turn begin to erode the population.
Sexual abuse on children results in a psychological break down of a child’s intellect. Common knowledge is that a child generally stops or dramatically slows down their mental maturity at the time they are abused. If a 25 year old was sexually assaulted at 6, that 25 year old will show signs of behaving as a 6 year old. The severity of exhibiting such behavior will depend upon how often the person was abused and for how long it lasted. Let us say this 25 year old becomes pregnant by another 25 year old who was beaten every day from the time he could walk until puberty. Both parents will not only lack proper parenting skills, they will, also, pass on genes that include a slowed mental development. Perhaps during the young woman’s sexual abuse, she developed a sexually transmitted disease or other physical traumas. These can affect the pregnancy, growth of the fetus, birth, and perhaps even life of the child if these things were passed on to him while inside of the womb.
Most pedophiles were sexually abused as children. They encourage the cycle of abuse by not fighting any psychological defect that compels them to have sexual relations with a child. This cycle grows to include other children, more and more over time as each child grows into a possible pedophile and creates their own family tree of victims.
The damage here is twofold: Since female children are not yet fertile, and since a male child cannot get a woman pregnant, sexual relations with children hurts the population growth. Additionally, each child that is coerced or physically forced into sexual relations with an adult will develop severe psychological problems that will be counterproductive to the species’ social growth.
Children are, also, not mentally prepared to accept the emotional weight of a sexual relationship or intellectually developed enough to understand sex. Adults get into relationships with other adults sometimes with a mutual understanding that it is only a sexual relationship. They are both responsible for their actions and decision to engage in such a situation. Adults who prey upon children expect us to believe that a child can 1. make an informed decision to agree to such a relationship, and 2. are capable of understanding and being in control of any emotional involvement, such as the love a pedophile claims to have for the child he or she is sexually abusing.
Physically speaking, children are not developed to accept sexual intercourse with an adult. For an adult to accomplish this, there must be force of some kind – be it physical or psychological manipulation. (And here we see that since both physical and psychological force are illegal, this leaves no possible defense of pedophilia.)
Although a child is not responsible for what an adult does, an adult is responsible for their actions when they become old enough to understand the consequences of those actions. Whereas homosexuality is not a choice and does not greatly impact the evolution of the species because it does not create more non-productive homosexuals, pedophilia is always a choice when acted upon and causes great damage to the species’ in numerous ways.
I hope this clears up the factual side of this argument as I will no longer entertain those intolerant of the truth.
On a more opinionated note, though still factual in its sense, the comparison of homosexuality and pedophilia infuriates me because, for one, it compares consensual sex between adults to forced sex between adults and children. Next, I have seen the harm anti-gay activism can do to the war on child sexual abuse.
There is an alarming number of people who insist upon indicating that pedophilia pertains to men raping boys, claiming it is a gay crime. They like to cite groups such as North American Man Boy Love Association, even though there are more groups designed for men who desire little girls and even women who desire little boys. This hurts our cause tremendously because the truth is, there are more cases of opposite-gender assaults than same-sex. By the argument of these anti-gay groups, all heterosexuals must then be child molesters based upon the statistics placing heterosexual child abuse cases above homosexual ones. Since the number of children who suffer abuse by an adult of the opposite sex outnumber those who suffer by an adult of the same gender, the majority of victims are being forgotten and ignored. Personally, I have no doubt that this is one of the many reasons these pedophile psychiatrists are trying to compare their movement to homosexuality. It creates more anti-gay followers and puts the emphasis on homosexuality rather than child sexual assault.
How many parents have smart phones and other mobile devices which contain apps their children play? How many children have iPods, iPads, iPhones, or other such devices that allow game applications using wifi or any form of connection to social interactions?
Are children safe using those Free or .99 app downloads? They download onto the device with a sweet little icon of a silly bird or pretty princess or some cartoon character that is a must-have for a young fan.
What could possibly be harmful about a game on a mobile device?
You’ve taken all the necessary precautions. Your child isn’t allowed to have Yahoo! messenger, Facebook, or any other social chat application, and they aren’t allowed to use the phone function. Perhaps they have a smart phone that is not connected for phone use, but the Wi-Fi works just fine so they can play their cool little games.
Well, what a lot of parents don’t know is that many of these seemingly harmless game apps contain in-game chat features. Game app hosts, such as Game Center, are even now demanding users agree to a new policy that allows everyone you are connected to in your game apps under their provider be sent your personal information — i.e. real name and location used in your iTunes billing. Game apps are more intrusive than they once were, and children are becoming easier targets than ever.
In addition to game apps with chat, there are various chat apps that range from free to costing several dollars. The most dangerous for children are the ones that ensure secrecy, such as TigerText. Some of these apps even have a disguised icon and can be hidden on the device. This is why parents should always, always check their accounts associated with the device their child uses. These accounts will list all downloads, including free ones. Examine all apps before allowing your child to use them by reading the description as well as user reviews.
This is an example of TigerText from an Android website:
It’s quite frightening when you think this could be a conversation between an 11 year old girl and a 30 year old man. “Erin” could very well be that 30 year old man. It doesn’t take much to steal photos and names with personal details from sites like flikr, Photobucket, and Facebook.
I received a private comment a few days ago by a terrified mom. She discovered her daughter had been in communications with an identity thief who had convinced her to divulge all of the family’s personal information, such as siblings’ names, parents’ names, birthdays, locations, and other private matters. This all took place through the chat feature of a game her daughter played on an iPhone with its phone service disabled.
It was bad enough to discover this grown man’s interactions with her very young daughter. After seeking help from law enforcement, the mother learned this man had stolen the identity of a dead military man.
Perhaps this man isn’t a sexual predator. Perhaps he wasn’t seeking to do her daughter or other children physical harm. This man is none-the-less an identity thief, one who could be using the open honesty of children to gather information to steal and sell private information to other identity thieves.
This mom and any parent in this situation has a right and a reason to be scared and angry. What they should not feel is hopeless. Unfortunately, the man committed no crime against this family by merely speaking to the girl, so the mother cannot receive official help as of yet. However, she is anything but helpless and this situation, though frightening and grim, is anything but hopeless.
This was my public response to her unpublished comment, relevant paragraphs only, to pass on my personal advice within this article:
Dear Devastated Parent:
[…]I need to first tell you that I am not an employee of any branch of law enforcement, nor am I qualified to give out legal advice. I am a volunteer who has worked side by side with LE.
That being said, I AM a parent and a concerned citizen and have every right to advise you on those terms.
If you still have access to chat messages and anything at all passed between them, take screen shots of them all. Do you know how to do that? Press the Home button at the bottom of the flat screen and the power button at the same time while on the page you wish to “photograph”.
Anything that was passed between them via chat can sometimes be saved to a file. I’m not sure what game this was or if it has the feature to save chats. Check it out.
It doesn’t matter if anyone tells you that you cannot be helped under whatever circumstance they give. Gathering the information in one nice neat pile as soon as possible and as it happens when possible will help when action is finally able to be taken (if it is needed).
Make sure any law enforcement officer you speak with gives you a case #. If they don’t provide you with one, tell them you want a file started on this immediately and you want the case number. In my experience, if you ask, they must open a file for you and add to it anytime you call them with another bit of information. I don’t know if this is true in all states, but it has been in ones I have been a part of. This way, there is an official jacket in the event this person tries to contact your child or your family. It adds up and shows a pattern they cannot deny in court.
As for safety concerns, I completely understand your fear. Do you still have access to the account? Did you or your daughter send this person a final message?
This is what I would do: I would send the person a message and inform them that the police have been made aware of their activity. I would tell them the police have screen shots and copies of everything, and that there is a report on file. Tell the person you have saved everything and are prepared to turn over the device and access to your account for the police to find them should they continue to try and contact your child or anyone in your family. (And yes, the FBI can do this if it comes down to it, and the FBI CAN and WILL become involved if this is occurring across state lines. Even inside the same state if necessary.). Tell them in no uncertain terms that they are never to contact your child again. Then leave it at that. Remove them from any account she has. If they try to be re-added, send that into the police for the file, as well. It goes to show contact/stalking of a minor against the parent’s wishes. Make sure you save a copy or a screen shot of the message you send the person. Don’t let your child back into the app, but you monitor it, yourself, to see if they try to contact her again.
PS: Also, iTunes has a Terms of Service area. Read through it and see if this person violated anything. Contact iTunes and tell them of this person, too, and provide them the username associated with the game. I’m not sure what they can do, if anything, but again, you will have a report out there about this person. And iTunes will now have a report about this person in the event they do it again. Quite possibly, this person has been reported to iTunes already. This could be cause for iTunes to contact the FBI or some other agency that can stop this person. You can call the iTunes office, as well, and inquire about what you can do and what they can do to better protect kids from this person.
After leaving this comment, I went in search of various ways parents can better monitor their children’s activities on their mobile devices. We cannot stop the predators from their attempts to reach our children in these ways, but we have all the power on our end to stop them from succeeding. Short of not giving a child such a device to begin with, there are other ways to monitor what they do and with whom they communicate.
MobiStealth – Parental Control and Monitoring Software The information for this says it is for Android, but I found that it can be purchased for most mobile phones. There are several separate features that can be purchased, as well, which include but are not restricted to tracking text messages and phone calls, location of the device, web and picture history, and reverse look-up for unfamiliar numbers that have called the device.
Mobile-Spy Software for Smartphones This does the same as above but seems to be compatible with more devices.
Spy Phone Apps This is a website that lists several other choices in mobile monitoring technology.
(I do want to mention that it appears there are other reasons someone may want to install such software into a mobile device, some possibly nefarious. I was somewhat shocked at the capabilities of these items, and it compels me to post this warning to all readers that although these can be useful tools in protecting children and keeping ones personal property safe, they can, also, be used to spy on innocent adults and even victims of domestic violence. I am quite sure stalkers can put this to good use, as well, especially boyfriends and girlfriends in teen dating abuse situations.)
In the event you feel this is invading a child’s personal space and in some way showing them you don’t trust them, and this somehow bothers you, you need to remember they are children. There should never be an issue of invasion of privacy when ensuring your child’s safety. The relationship between a parent and a child is one of protector and protected, defender and defended. We are parents first before anything else, and friend only after our parental duties are met. If you have a problem distinguishing this, you should visit your local police department and view the hundreds of files of juvenile cases, both victim and perpetrator, stemming from parental neglect. And make no mistake. Refusing to do everything you can to protect your child from the very real dangers we know are in this world is neglect.
We cannot protect our children from everything, but we don’t have to make it easy for predators, either. These people go for easy targets first and tend to pass up those with attentive and safety-conscious parents and care-givers. Don’t let your child be an easy target by leaving the window wide open. You wouldn’t walk up to a stranger and hand them the keys to your house. Don’t hand a predator the key to your child.
(Among others, I am tagging this article under Grooming Techniques because game chat is a popular new way of grooming children.)