The Ultimate Evil

A Child Abuse Awareness Blog

How To Handle The Pedo In The Next Car

April is Child Abuse Prevention/Awareness Month, and I wanted to start with an answer to a private comment made some time back.

Here is the comment:

“Ms. SMP,

[…] I recently came about a certain situation when escorting my young granddaughter.

Her weekend visit with her grandmother and me was over and I was taking her home.  At a stop light I heard her giggling in the seat beside me. I drive an old single seat pick up so she has to ride up front with paw-paw. I am happy about that because I may not have noticed the pevert in the next car next to us making goo-goo eyes at my little darlin.

Let me let you understand something for a moment Ms. SMP.  I enjoy smiling at children who wave to me and socialize.  Us old folk do that.  This thing (I hesitate to call it a man) had a nastiness about him that I am sure you have seen yourself.

I looked over in time to see him blowing her a kiss.  I ordered her to look away and not to look at him again. He got the idea and looked away too.

The light was a long one and we were caught for another cycle having us beside him again for another red.  My grand baby says to me, “Paw paw that man won’t stop looking at me and I don’t like it anymore. He’s scaring me.”

I look over and see him craning his neck to look down in the seat at her lap. He was in a bigger truck than mine. One of those new things with four full sized doors and sits up almost two feet from the ground. I know what he was doing because I am a man and I have had my days as a young buck looking in such a way to see pretty girls legs in the cars next to me.  This is what this man was doing to my grand baby!

He starts licking his lips in a perverted fashion as he stares at her bare legs. She was wearing her bathing suit and a pair of shorts.  She was looking at him as he licked his lips and she pulled her towel as fast as she could over her lap.  He looked at her and blew her a kiss.

The light turned green right then and he pulled ahead. Ms. SMP, I wanted to jump out of my pick up and pull him from his so I could give him the beating of his life right there in the street!  I followed him and wrote down his license plate number.

When we arrived at my daughter’s home, my grand daughter was crying.  She is seven years old but she understood he was doing bad things.

I called the police immediately to report the incident.  They said they would look up the information to see if the vehicle was registered to someone who was on the registered sex offender list, but they could not do anything to help us because he had not touched her.

I want to share this story with you for two reasons. I want to know if there is any more I could have done and what you would have done; and I wanted to tell you this to help others in my situation.

What do parents and grand parents do when there is a pervert in the next car making goo-goo eyes at their child?”

I have been saving this post since last Summer, hoping to find the right opportunity to write about it. I answered the gentleman, who has been an avid reader and supporter of mine since my days of creating Pagans Against Child Abuse and following me after I left the group.

A bit of odd coincidence happened about a month after replying to him in which almost the same situation happened to me and my then 8 year old daughter. This is what I did and what I suggest for anyone facing this very scary situation:

My daughter was in the front seat of my truck.  The man was in an old model sedan.  Although he could not see over the window frame of my truck, he could still make eye contact with my daughter.

My girl is polite and will smile when smiled upon. However, she is, also, a very good judge of character.  I was looking at my left to the driver on my side texting when I heard her say, “Mommy, there’s a man waving at me.”

I looked over quickly to see an older man, maybe in his 50’s, waving at her.  I looked at him for a moment in careful consideration.  As the commenter above noted, older people like the friendliness of children.  My daughter often befriends the elderly, and has on many occasions sat beside them in waiting rooms to hold conversations.  She is not shy by any means, nor does she shun a polite gesture as a wave.  Children know danger when they see it, and I could tell by the way my child folded her arms across herself and leaned toward me that this man was someone she had reason to fear.

I stared at him, watching at first to see what he would do next and glaring to warn him off.  He seemed either to not notice me or to simply not care about my threatening gaze.  He did as the man above did – blew her a kiss.  Not once but twice. He winked at her and wouldn’t take his eyes off of her.

Once, I noticed his eyes shift in my direction.  He knew by my gaze that I knew what he was.  His reaction was to laugh and look away, but only for a moment.  He reached down into what appeared to be his lap.  It is my guess he was rubbing himself.

When he looked over again, he was met with a surprise.  I keep a fold out knife with a 6″ blade on me at all times.  Just as he looked back at us, he could see me pull this knife from the overhead compartment above my rearview mirror.  I let him watch as I unfolded it, never taking my eyes from his now concerned gaze.  I held the handle in my grasp with the blade downward across the length of my arm so only he could see what I was showing him.  He shifted in his seat nervously then, looking away and never looking back at us.

The light turned green and he dangerously maneuvered through the cars to reach three lanes away from me.  Traffic was busy that day, so he wasn’t going anywhere far.  I followed him and wrote down his license plate as my friend above had done.  I followed him for a while.  He was clearly shaken, staring in his rearview mirror often and trying desperately to get away from me.  I veered off just as he approached the interstate because I was very low on gas.  In fact, I was on my way to the gas station when this happened.  I couldn’t risk getting on the interstate when I was almost on empty, and really, the best I could do was call the police and put them on notice, which is what I did.

I was relieved to find out that although there isn’t immediate action they can do to someone in this situation, they CAN look up the person to see if they are a RSO and report the incident to their parole officer, physician, handler, etc..; and they CAN record the incident in the event it happens again.  This way, there is a file on them with the information of the complainant in case this person ever does get caught assaulting a child. It goes to a pattern that makes it difficult for them to defend in court when there is a file from complete strangers making similar allegations.

So, what should you do?

1. STARE THEM DOWN! Let the person know that YOU know what they are and what they are doing.  Many pedophiles do not care if you like it or not.  This has been well documented in cases with convicted pedophiles.  They see your child as their potential girlfriend/boyfriend, and you have no say in the matter as far as they are concerned. It is their mentality that “children are God’s gift to men.”  It doesn’t hurt, though, to let them know you are aware. This makes your child an unattractive target.

2. THREATEN THEM IN WHATEVER LEGAL WAY POSSIBLE! I did not get out of my car with my knife.  I did not make any kind of motion as though I was going to cut him with it. I merely let him see me take it down and hold it in my hand with a gaze that showed him I was prepared to do what it takes to anyone attempting to harm my child.  There is no law that says I cannot carry a knife in my vehicle, and really, do you think this pedophile was going to call the police and have them question my daughter?

Don’t fear them!  It is they who fear being exposed.  Your first priority is to your child and keeping them safe and helping them feel safe.  My daughter went from being afraid to laughing at the bastard as he looked away in fear. That makes it worth it.

Other ways you can threaten them is by holding up your phone and taking pictures of them.  Even a regular camera if you have one, and having the flash go off is even better.  Letting them see you make a call to the police and letting them realize you are describing them to someone on your phone helps. And never under estimate the power of following them, even if it’s for a few blocks.  Make sure they notice you jotting down their license plate. Do NOT speed or drive erratically to keep up with them.  Remember that your child is with you.

3 .  REPORT THEM IMMEDIATELY TO THE POLICE! This is not a waste of time.  You may be the first to report them, but you may, also, be the call that the prosecution has been looking for to nail them for good.  Never forget that child abusers are not happy just looking at children, and your call may save current and future victims of very real abuse.

Now, one thing I would like to point out at this time is a previous post I made about the danger of family decals. Imagine if I or the grandfather above had family decals with our children’s names, school names, team names, etc…?  Suppose we had not noticed these men “flirting” with our girls and we had all the information they needed on our vehicles to find our kids?  This happens.  This is not unheard of.  This is what they do.  Please pay attention!  There isn’t an entire month dedicated to awareness of child abuse, including CSA, for no reason.  Monsters exist.  They are after your children and as their parent or guardian, it is your responsibility to protect them and let these thieves of childhood innocence know your child will not be their prey.

April 5, 2010 - Posted by | Other Safety issues, Parents who get it, Pedophiles Exposed

7 Comments »

  1. Great story and great advice – I am sure this will help a lot of parents who run across this kind of behavior from pedophiles or even someone who “just makes a child uncomfortable” as noted, children have great instincts – it is always wise to pay attention. There is a big difference between a friendly wave and smile and someone who is checking a child out – the more this is discussed and word gets out the better off it will be for kids – knowledge is our best weapon!

    Comment by Lee | April 6, 2010 | Reply

    • Thank you, Lee! I appreciate the thoughts and you are absolutely correct. Knowledge is the best weapon we have, followed by our willingness to speak up. Secrecy and silence are an abuser’s best friends.

      Comment by TUECAA | April 6, 2010 | Reply

  2. I thank you again, Ms. SMP! I called the local precinct several weeks after you and I spoke of this and was informed a mother called in regards to this same monster.

    As you know they were unable to give me specifics but I was told steps are being taken to stop him.

    I thank you, darlin’, for your encouragement you gave me then and for the encouragement you give others in this situation now. Your actions empower people and I am thankful God sent you.

    Humbly yours should you ever need me,
    Frank L.

    Comment by Frank L. | April 6, 2010 | Reply

    • Nice timing, Frank! That means the world to me. Thank you for all of YOUR support and encouragement, and thank you tremendously for your original post about this. Clearly, you were not the only one to experience it and neither was I! I may not have even thought to make this into a blog if it had only happened to me, so thank you for speaking up!

      Comment by TUECAA | April 6, 2010 | Reply

  3. THANK YOU!

    Comment by Cindy | April 7, 2010 | Reply

    • You are very welcome!

      Comment by TUECAA | April 7, 2010 | Reply

  4. This is awesome! I’ll make sure to have this idea in hand when my baby is born. I am scared for her life because of people out there.

    Comment by Carol | November 15, 2010 | Reply


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