The Ultimate Evil

A Child Abuse Awareness Blog

Addressing the Concerns of Pagans

Screen shot 2013-08-13 at 11.37.59 AM

UPDATE: I was sent a link this morning to a blog featuring the symbols article, and it is now apparent to me where the majority of the angry comments from Asatru folk and Odinists are originating. This blog ( )    purposefully misrepresents the Valknut by stating: The ‘Wiccan triple knot’ is a well-known paedophile call sign.   I have written to the Editor of the site and requested a retraction, removal of the image, or at the least a removal of any reference to my site. Please, feel free to send your complaints over this travesty to the Editor of that website: . They do not allow comments on their website and request letters to the editor, instead. 


Recently, my post on pedophile symbols and codes was featured on a few pagan websites for its inclusion of pagan symbols. The authors of these sites were not condemning my article. They simply wanted to share with the pagan community that some of our most precious symbols were being used in a covert attempt by pedophiles to disguise their own created images that looked similar to ours. Unfortunately, some pagans took my article to be an attack on the pagan community, particularly since there was no mention of christianity within it.

This article was not about religion. It was a revelation of the symbols specifically created by pedophiles, themselves. Their symbols became known throughout the world of law enforcement, so they had to find a way to still covertly use them. They found that some of our symbols very closely resembled their own, so as Hitler did with the swastika, they bastardized our precious, innocent relics.

I have been accused by one commenter on a pagan re-posting as well as a commenter here on my original posting that this article is propaganda.  It is not. These images were taken directly from in-house FBI memos.  I was an active volunteer with the FBI’s NCMEC (based in the US) for over 7 years. My handler was an undercover agent with NCMEC for over 25 years when I was assigned to her.  Anything you find on my website has been thoroughly reviewed by law enforcement – federal and local – at my own request and by companies I contacted in regards to their unintentional use of these symbols. Inaccuracies and “propaganda” would only hurt our fight against child abusers; therefore, I have always openly welcomed law enforcement agencies to review my site and correct anything that was wrong or in any way harmful to their own efforts.

To my fellow pagans who feel this or any article is an attack on our society, it is not. I can assure you that I know many paths and my vehemence to defend children extends to them all, regardless of reputations or delicate sensibilities. I protect no one, regardless of their vestments. All child abusers are my targets, regardless of their faith.

Personally speaking, I know about catholic abuse and that priests do not just rape and molest boys.  I grew up catholic and attended catholic school from kindergarten to twelfth grades. We had priests and nuns who ran everything, though we had lay teachers, as well. Our church had a revolving door for pedophile priests, and most of them abused both boys and girls. I had a dear friend who was raped by a priest the teachers and parents praised as being “the best with children.” My abusers weren’t priests but they were catholic men held in the highest regard within the church. The entire block of girls in my neighborhood was abused by these three men, and we could say nothing because their word was infallible.

When you grow up catholic, you are indoctrinated into a code of silence. 1. NEVER speak out against your parents, even if they abuse you. 2. NEVER speak out against a priest, even if he abuses you. 3. NEVER speak ill of the catholic church, even if it turns a blind eye and forces you to stay with your abuser.

My oldest sister was not permitted an annulment from her abusive husband, even when she showed the church that he was raping their children (age 2 – girl and age 6 – boy, until they were ages 8 and 10), making child porn videos with them, and selling them for sex. She was called a liar and he was instructed to come into the monsignor’s office for weekly counseling. Once those “meetings of spiritual reflection” began with the priest, his abuse grew more frequent and more videos and photos were made. I’m sure you get where I’m going with this.

I was a proud catholic for nearly all of my life, but with my first pregnancy, I began to develop a spiritual awakening I would not fully realize for a few more years.  My daughter’s birth was a miracle, itself, regardless of what religion or path you are on (even a miracle of science for my atheist friends).  I hung a crucifix above her crib in the newborn intensive care unit (NICU), she was baptized in the catholic church, and we attended mass together for the first 3 years of her life.  Every day and every event that involved the church drew me closer to a different spiritual calling, until finally, I found my spirituality was evolving into something greater. I fully opened myself to it when I reached the age of 30.

I do tackle other religions on my site, including christianity   (Some videos were removed by YouTube and some links may not work due to removal of websites/images by law enforcement. I haven’t had time to correct them) . I am pagan now, however, and what I have seen within my circles has infuriated me to the point that I refuse to remain silent. I will NEVER again be told to shut my mouth to protect a society that hides predators and abusers. I had to as a child prisoner of the church. I am now a free adult and not even death threats from pedophiles will muzzle me ever again. I refuse to allow these monsters sanctuary within my beloved pagan community. The vatican defends their abusers. I defend the children.

If anyone would like to see more regarding christianity’s role in abuse, please feel free to link me to something I can use. I have taken a break from posting here because I work in child advocacy offline as well as have a hectic lifestyle involving other real-life responsibilities that have taken up a considerable amount of my time. Unfortunately, these monsters don’t just live on the internet, and my family always comes first.


August 13, 2013 - Posted by | Religion


  1. Having reposted your article and relayed other important information regarding CSA, I understand what you are saying about others misunderstanding your intent. Sadly, some people are so focused on their own beliefs/issues/concerns, they make no time for understanding others. Please know that the majority of us knew your intent and APPRECIATED the vital information and use it to protect our children.

    I also wanted to let you know you may use our site as one of your resources to help survivors of CSA and in raising awareness for it, if you would like to of course. We would be honored to stand with you in this fight against the predators of all our children.

    We also provide counseling to survivors at no charge and all therpaists are thoroughly vetted. If there’s anything we can do to help, please don’t hesitate to contact me.


    David Pittman
    Executive Director, Together We Heal
    Support Group Leader, South Florida Area -SNAP

    Comment by Together We Heal | August 13, 2013 | Reply

    • Mr. Pittman, I am grateful and honored by your visit, your support, and your compassionate outreach! I know all about SNAP and had a featured article when I was on Blogger. I lost it in the transfer but I still have support buttons. Thank you for the incredible work you and your organization have done, and again for your visit and thoughts!

      I encourage everyone to examine It’s an incredible organization with compassionate people who stand firmly and do not waiver on the side of victims and survivors.

      Comment by TUECAA | August 13, 2013 | Reply

      • I am happy to be of help and encouragement to you and the work you do! 🙂 please know we will always stand with you in this fight. And as I mentioned to you before, please know you may use as a resource to help survivors. That’s what we are here for 🙂


        Comment by Together We Heal | August 13, 2013 | Reply

        • I absolutely will, David! Thank you so much! I have some things I may pick your brain about soon. You might get tired of me lol.

          Comment by TUECAA | August 13, 2013 | Reply

          • You don’t have to worry about that 🙂 you always have an open invitation here 🙂

            Comment by Together We Heal | August 13, 2013 | Reply

  2. Keep fighting the good fight, my lovely. People won’t see the forest for the trees, as it were, particularly since it may involve “religious” connotations. I was once Catholic, myself, for a bit, many years ago. To my knowledge no one in my family were abused, thankfully. BUT! I’m not blind to the fact that it does goe on relentlessly in not only the Catholic Church, but other religions as well. This is NOT why I left path took me elsewhere. People tend to paint with a broad brush when they begin discussing abuse. Not all Catholic priests or others are paedophiles, clearly. And, not all Pagans are paedophiles, either. Nor Muslims, Hindi, etc. The old adage about the bad apple? There is one in every bushel, I assure you, no matter what that bushel is named. There is NO NEED to attack any religion for no matter the religion there are sooo many GOOD people in every one of them whom are just trying to walk their path as it should be for them and always willing to help. So, to those who are hell-bent on attacking this lovely blogger for the articles written here, please just open your eyes and see it for what it is – the TRUTH! Blessed be )O( <— this is the symbol for the triple goddess aspect of the Moon for anyone thinking it is a sinister symbol, it is not I assure you.

    Comment by Ahladita Marjara | August 15, 2013 | Reply

    • Thank you for your wonderfully kind and heartfelt words! And for your support!

      I think if people took a deep breath and pushed aside their defensiveness over faith, they could see the true message here and realize children the world over need our help and protection, regardless of what religion or politics their parents follow.

      On a daily basis, I read something or hear someone stating that our kids should be raised with morals and respect. These sources often quote biblical scripture or some religious text or reed. What too many do not understand is that our treatment of children goes far beyond any text could teach. We can look within our own pasts and know this is true. We may not remember what our 5th grade social studies book said about Apache indians, but we sure as hel remember being told we were stupid or ugly or won’t amount to anything ….. OR …. being told we were beautiful, strong, smart, and could be anything we want.

      Every faith in the world acknowledges that children learn according to how they are treated, and in turn, they become the adult reflection of the opinions they heard when they were young. A lot of us overcame the negative words and treatment, but it never left our hearts and minds. When you survive those things, you learn bitterness and suspicion. Though you may not become the failure they said you would, you, also, don’t become the success you could have been had you been treated with respect and love. And what becomes of a society when abused children grow up to run the world? THAT is what’s important to understand here. Are we raising leaders to take us forward or dictators full of vengeance and hate? We determine our world’s future by the way we raise our children today.

      Blessed be and Peace, sister!

      Comment by TUECAA | August 15, 2013 | Reply

  3. “Though you may not become the failure they said you would, you, also, don’t become the success you could have been had you been treated with respect and love.” ~ oh how deeply that touches my own live, my dear. Alas, that is altogether another story. However, I haven’t allowed it to keep me from being a success, even here in my “crone” years. To be sure, I’m not altogether the “success” I had hoped for, but I am within which I am granted to have and I am at peace with that 🙂 Much love & blessings!

    Comment by Ahladita Marjara | August 15, 2013 | Reply

    • I’m sending you a FR on FB ;)!

      Comment by TUECAA | August 15, 2013 | Reply

  4. I have been an avid reader since you were on the other site, the blogger one. I used to follow you on your ning page too but under a different name. A lot has changed for me so please don’t ask who I was. I guess what I want to know is why did you leave PACA? You were the one who created it and your group did so much good. I know you caught crap by others in the Wicca community but you must know how much of an impact your work and PACA did for people. Did you know the people you left in charge totally wrecked it? Ning started demanding money to have pages and accounts so they moved the PACA group somewhere else. It was on its last leg already.mthe move just killed it more. I don’t know if you even want PACA again but if you don’t save it are you willing to consider making a new one? Your site here is phenominal so please don’t misunderstand. I just wonder if you would think about making another group dedicated to Pagan and Wicca concerns. As you know being Pagan yourself we can feel inhabited in what we say when we share space with Christians. I mean no disrespect to your Christian readers. You know what I mean. I just don’t know how to say it. I guess I’m just lost now that I have no place to feel safe to talk. I don’t know what else to say. I hope you understand what all this rambling is. I hope you can give me answers. I hope you don’t get upset for asking. Blessed Be

    Comment by Darkstar Ishtar | August 22, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi, Darkstar! This is a lot to answer but we have terrible storms in the area. I want you to know that I do have answers for you and I appreciate your longtime support, words of encouragement, and suggestions. As soon as I can safely stay online, I’ll respond. Peace and blessings to you, Sister!

      Comment by TUECAA | August 22, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi, Darkstar! Storms seemed to have passed and aren’t hanging around like the Weather Channel said they would. Your comment is more complex than you probably know, so I wanted to take a respectable amount of time to answer you to the best of my ability. I will answer point-by-point:

      1. “I guess what I want to know is why did you leave PACA? You were the one who created it and your group did so much good. I know you caught crap by others in the Wicca community but you must know how much of an impact your work and PACA did for people.”

      — First and foremost, please know that I did not “leave” Pagans Against Child Abuse (PACA). No amount of crap by anyone would make me quit, especially when I was seeing how scared the predators within the community were getting. The more people rant and scream, the closer we know we are to revealing them. (Think of movies about vampires when the hero is dragging them into the light.)

      I would consider what happened with PACA to be a mutiny of sorts by two of the other three members. One had his own site that he used specifically to make money. He didn’t really care what he posted as long as it generated internet drama and trolls pouring onto his page. I didn’t realize until it was too late that he was using PACA to get more attention to his site. The other one started out being a good friend I had met on another pagan website. She was genuine at first but he managed to manipulate her into weaseling the group away from me.

      Unbeknownst to me, she started spreading the group throughout the internet, even starting its own site. I questioned her at first and her reasoning was that she was just trying to help us branch out. I was okay with it as it was about helping the children, not my pride. After we were kicked out of the major Pagan site we exposed for being a nest of predators, we went to the Ning site. Actually, she found it before I had a chance to react and made herself owner of the page. She said it was “admin only” just because she made it, but I was still officially the owner/creator. Unfortunately, that guarantee didn’t last long. She made the other person an admin and they both started methodically changing our mission.

      Under my ownership, survivors were encouraged to share their stories, but when these two took over, victims and survivors were told to keep quiet if it was about any particular religion or race that these two admins didn’t want to make angry. Anytime I tried to defend a victim’s right to speak up, I was out-voted. I could no longer let survivors speak of their pain and receive sympathetic support. I could no longer allow discussions about harsher legal punishments for sex offenders because this was seen as “inciting violence” by the other two admins, even though it was basic discussion about legal arrests and penalties.

      When I allowed a victim of a Christian sect to post his sexual abuse story at their hands, I was forced from my admin duties, he was banned, and it was said as an unwritten rule that there would be no mention of Christian abuse. We were still going against Islamic abuse, Wicca abuse, and the Frosts’ child rape how-to Wicca manual full throttle, but Christianity was suddenly off limits. I felt this was the oddest thing when these two claimed to be pagans.

      I, finally, had enough and left when it became glaringly apparent the male of our admin circle was using PACA to generate hits on his political and drama-inciting site for monetary gain, and the woman who had taken PACA from me without my original permission (though granted later for the sake of the children) was wound tightly around his finger.

      Even before I officially left, however, they changed the password to get into our Gmail Admin group chat, the password to get into the Photobucket account we used to keep screenshots and the graphics I made for the group, and even the password to get into the Playlist site for the music we hosted on the page. I had created all of these and given them the password so we could all get in to make necessary changes should the others not be around in case of an emergency. I was notified in an e-mail that all “permission” was revoked and I was no longer an admin. I could stay in PACA but could be banned if I posted anything. The guy sent me threatening messages to say that if I ever breathed a word about what they did, he would slander me. After the initial shock and despair settled down, I took a deep breath and decided to let Time expose them for what they were. He could slander me all the wanted. Truth would be known in what I knew they would do to PACA.

      I had every intention of branching off and making an “Official PACA” page. Unfortunately, their plan to take PACA from me had been forming longer than I realized. During the course of PACA on the Ning site, she “found” another PACA page that “someone” had set up. She was supposedly concerned that someone was trying to set up a fake PACA page to get to victims and survivors who had trusted us. She told me that she contacted Ning and told them that these people didn’t have the rights to the graphics, designs, and name of PACA. She stated that Ning told her they could not ban the page unless the original creator of PACA and its designs gave her written permission to use it on her own site (the PACA page you are familiar with that she had established without my knowledge or initial permission).

      In order to help prevent some predator from doing what she suspected, I created a contract of sorts for Ning that gave rights to PACA and its designs for her to use and only her. I can look back on this now and realize she or he were the creator of that fake PACA site in order to get me to sign over rights for her to take over the group and kick me out without any rights to any of the designs. I could no longer go to Ning and demand they shut that page down for violation of my rights because she manipulated it away from me.

      Of course, I was hurt. I was betrayed and it might have destroyed my spirit had it not been for the fact that I am and have always been here for the children, the victims, and the survivors. The most shameful aspect of the whole episode was alienating all of the people who had found PACA to once be a safe place for people to care and suddenly found themselves being told to keep silent just as their abusers had done. As a pagan, you know they will get what’s coming to them for what they did to not only me but all of those who sought refuge in our group and were betrayed.


      2. “Did you know the people you left in charge totally wrecked it? Ning started demanding money to have pages and accounts so they moved the PACA group somewhere else. It was on its last leg already.mthe move just killed it more.”

      — I knew about Ning’s policy change. I had created a page on Ning for survivors and received the letter from Ning about it. They really messed up doing that. Too many free websites for anyone to stick around paying for a blogging platform that can’t keep a handle on hackers and spammers.

      Someone who had been watching PACA for reasons I won’t get into publicly alerted me some time ago about its condition. I was, also, made aware that she was posting herself as the Owner/Creator of PACA. I’m very sorry it became a mere shell of what it once was, but I feel a little vindication that so many influential people who knew about the site were allowed a first-hand view of who was the heart and soul behind the group.

      Opening up is the hardest thing for a victim to do, and what PACA became has betrayed not just me but those who took that first courageous step.


      3. ” I don’t know if you even want PACA again but if you don’t save it are you willing to consider making a new one? Your site here is phenominal so please don’t misunderstand. I just wonder if you would think about making another group dedicated to Pagan and Wicca concerns. As you know being Pagan yourself we can feel inhabited in what we say when we share space with Christians.”

      — I have washed my hands of the site and group completely and moved on to see victims follow me and start to open up once again. Rest assured you are not the only former PACA member here ;).

      Yes, I did consider making a new one with a new name, and for just the reasons you state. However, I have come away from that experience with PACA and that pagan site with an understanding about division in this fight.

      See, regardless of religion, child abuse affects children the same. It is destructive physically, emotionally, and mentally. In turn, it destroys societies and has a long lasting negative impact on our evolution as a species.

      I have seen abused children in christian homes rebel by joining other faiths, and so on .. These children must understand that a religion doesn’t make them victims. Monsters do. Especially monsters with any kind of power within that religion or belief system.

      Spirituality is everything to me. I hold it in such high regard, I can even see atheism as a spiritual path. No child should be hampered in their own journey, but this is what happens when victims turn sour words against an entire religion and all of its people. I feel like dividing us is only weakening the wall of defense.

      Consider this: Pedophiles come in all religions, colors, political affiliations, and social classes. They don’t fight among themselves about which membership creates the best predators and rakes in the best prey. They only see each other as fellow “child lovers” and work together as a solid unit to stalk their prey.

      If we cannot find a way to work together to protect our kids – ALL our kids – and get over our egos for the sake of the children, we have failed them before we have even begun.


      4. “I guess I’m just lost now that I have no place to feel safe to talk. I don’t know what else to say. I hope you understand what all this rambling is. I hope you can give me answers. I hope you don’t get upset for asking.”

      — I want you to know that you can ALWAYS feel safe to talk here. If you ever want to comment but don’t want it published, you only need to ask me in your comment. I know this can be frustrating because then I have to reply outwardly and you may not see it. This is why I had started the survivor group a couple of years ago. I just have not had the time to try again on another platform since I know a lot of screening will be involved and monitoring of the site.

      If you look to the right of this page, I took the links from the “Support” tab at the top and posted them. They are attached to the images that represent many other sites dedicated to victims and survivors, and some of those have safe forums where you can post.

      Your message is making me consider trying again with another support group. I hate doing this kind of thing on Facebook, but that could be another option. I can’t promise anything but I will look into it. You have my word on at least that!

      And don’t apologize! I always appreciate knowing my journey to this point has made so many positive impacts. It makes all the lashes and bruises worth it! Thank you so much!

      Please, let me know if you need anything else!
      Peace, Sister!

      Comment by TUECAA | August 23, 2013 | Reply

  5. […] approve comments to this thread, but you may read my answer to your questions and comment here:   Addressing The Concerns Of Pagans . If you fail to read the post before commenting (and I’ll know if you read or not), I will […]

    Pingback by PEDOPHILE SYMBOLS AND CODES: An Update « The Ultimate Evil | April 6, 2014 | Reply

  6. I am an Ásatrúar and I for one have great respect for your effort. May the gods watch over you and may these scum find no rest. Heil!

    Comment by Björn Jónason | April 7, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you, Bjorn! That means a lot to me!! I would never do anything to jeapordize kin, be they Asatru or Odinist. I wish only to warn about those using our sacred symbols to do harm because they could use them to get close to our own children. Your support means much to me! Skål

      Comment by TUECAA | April 7, 2014 | Reply

  7. […] posted an answer to help them understand I was not attacking our kind but rather only going after pedophiles. I will never apologize for my work to anyone. I stand by […]

    Pingback by Pagans Finally Showing Outrage Against Pedophiles « The Ultimate Evil | April 8, 2014 | Reply

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