Vanessa Williams has come forward to speak about molestation and its impact on young girls. It wasn’t a long testimonial, but its message is undeniable. Below is a summary of what she said on Oprah’s Master Class. At the bottom of the article is the video of her complete interview. It’s short (2 minutes) and makes so many valuable points.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014 | 3:04 PM
Vanessa Williams Opens Up About Being Molested As a Child
By Lauren Turner
Actress Vanessa Williams, 51, is opening up about being molested by an older girl.
In an appearance on Oprah’s Master Class, the former Miss America said her molestation by an older family friend, made her “more sexually promiscuous and more curious at a younger age than I should’ve been.”
The summer before fifth grade, Williams went to California with family for the first time. While there, she stayed with a family friend and was introduced to their then 18-year-old daughter. She described the girl as being “one of the cool girls” who “made you feel like you were a grown up.”
When the girl came into Williams’ room one right, what was once admiration, took a new turn. “She told me to lie down on the floor,” says Williams. “She took my bottoms of and she told me to be quiet, and she went down on me. And at 10 years old, I had no idea what it was, but I knew it felt good and I knew I shouldn’t be saying anything…I knew it felt good, but it was also something that I knew wasn’t supposed to be happening.”
This conflicted feeling stuck with Williams, long after that night. But because of family drama surrounding the death of her father’s brother, Williams thought it wasn’t the right time to say anything. Her molestation left her with years of shame and guilt.
“At that young age, having that happen to you, in your body, it awakens your sexuality at an age that it shouldn’t be awakened,” she said. “I think that had that not happened in my life, and I had an opportunity to have a normal courtship with a boyfriend at 16 or whatever, and have your normal first kiss, you know, there wouldn’t have been that shame that was kind of always haunting me.”
1. Sexual abuse is not only committed by adults.
2. Sexual abuse is not only a crime committed by men.
3. Sexual abuse creates sexuality in young children when they shouldn’t be sexually active.
4. Sexual abuse makes children become mature in ways they shouldn’t have to, including shouldering the burden of their abuse for the sake others.
The issue of belonging is something used by bullies at school, members of gangs, and pedophiles grooming their prey. It starts with little things: “If you want to be cool like me, you’ll smoke this/steal this/say this.” In Vanessa’s case, the 18 year old abuser introduced her to a world of free will and no consequences, smoking cigarettes and being adored by the in-crowd. By the time she came into Vanessa’s room, she had the 10 year old fawning all over her, eager to please and eager to be like her. She looked up to this older girl and didn’t know how to handle the heartbreak mixed with something her body told her felt good. She chose to remain silent while her mind tried to sort through the hurt and confusion. It’s grooming and it’s what predators do all the time. We are quick to recognize it and speak out about it when it comes to bullying in school now, but we still say nothing when it comes to sexual predation. It’s too uncomfortable, so we choose the safety of our bubble instead of protecting potential victims.
Had this been an 18 year old boy, there would be no question about the assault. Had this even been two adults, we would very quickly recognize that it was unwanted sex.
Pedophiles and sexual predators would have us believe that the pleasure she felt means children enjoy sex. Understand that these are the same people who believe (and have stated publicly in interviews and in court) that a screaming infant and crying child is having an orgasm, not in pain. For a 10 year old, yes, oral sex would have a feeling of pleasure to the body because it was not intrusive, but the mind has a right to be willing, and a 10 year old’s mind is never willing. Children become confused and afraid because while their body wanted it, their mind did not. They become ashamed and feel that their body’s response means they “asked for it.” Once an abuser has a child in turmoil over the first assault, they own their mind and body. They make them feel it was their fault and if they don’t let them do it again, they threaten that everyone will find out and blame the child.
Sexual abuse is never confined to an assault on the body. It is never restricted to only sexual chaos. A victim is suddenly burdened with what to do with what just happened. Very often, there are others the victim has to think about when deciding on whether or not to tell. Who will it hurt if they tell? Whose lives will the secret impact? Often times, adult rape victims are faced with this painfully difficult situation and must remain silent, at least for the time being. Imagine a child in such a situation. Imagine a child needing to tell but watching those around her dealing with other tragedies. Imagine being a child and choosing to bury your pain so others don’t have another burden to deal with. How fair is it for us to expect such maturity from a child? Such self-sacrifice from a child who just experienced a painful and terrifying event? And yet, children do it every day.
Child victims of sexual abuse, whether it be once or many times, will never be the same or have the kind of life “normal” people have. They will always feel as if it’s wrong to enjoy sex, will always feel as if they are sluts if they instigate sex, will always wonder what it might have been to experience their first time when THEY were ready and when THEY wanted to and with someone they loved. There will always be a void that occasionally fills itself with guilt, shame, regret, despair, and longing for what they will never have because it was stolen along with their childhood.
When you want to feel sorry for pedophiles, consider how much suffering they willingly and knowingly inflicted onto their victims who will never have the beautiful memories you have and will be forever haunted about their first time.
Sometimes, someone comes along who I can feel has had an exceptionally valuable life, one that can and may someday benefit this world. There was always a kind of light from her that touched something in me, and now I know it was because she is a survivor with a beautiful soul. She chose not to let her experience define her, learned from the mistakes it caused, and moved on from it all. Now, she is speaking up and speaking out for all of those who can’t. Never give up. Never let them win.
Some time back when I ran a victim/survivor organization, I had implemented the lioness and the instinctual responsibility women have to the young. I believed the lioness, in all of her fierce protectiveness of the pride intermingled with the other females, would be an excellent symbol and reminder to mothers of the uncompromising defense of our “cubs,” whether they belong to us personally or the human race, in general.
Although I love animals and know quite a bit about zoology, I neglectfully overlooked that a lioness will stand by while the lion who defeated the pride male will methodically murder the cubs of the previous “king.” Many lionesses will try to protect their cub, but in most footage I have seen, her fight is half-hearted and the other females don’t help. Although they could easily protect their children, it is as though they just accept this is how it will be and step aside to permit the torturous murder of their babies.
After a while, I thought about all of this and ditched the idea of the lioness as an influence for the courageous vehemence all mothers should possess when their child is in danger. At the same time, however, I realized just how parallel the lioness is to so many human mothers.
Although, I knew first hand how devious and abusive women could be, I didn’t know most others didn’t realize it until I happened onto the story I mention in the “About” area of this site that shocked so many. It was about a mother who sold her son to a man to rape for cigarettes or drugs. I can’t remember for what and I can’t find the story again. I did, however, find thousands more, as well as a slew of articles at Fathermag.com.
Please note I have not looked through all articles in the search results or at Fathermag.com. I am supplying these links to show the thousands upon thousands of news articles exposing child sexual abuse by women, not to endorse any of the sites re-posting said articles. These articles are worth a look if only to see how many mothers, teachers, babysitters, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, neighbors, and complete strangers who are female have committed the same crimes society fears from men.
Women abuse, whether we want to believe it or accept it as a society or not, it happens. Women rape. It, also, happens.
We all know the stigma attached to men who have become the victims of women, though, and therefore why very few men and teenage boys admit to their assault. Even RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), the largest charitable anti-sexual assault organization in the country, only recognizes males as assailants. Though their efforts and stats are up to date and they work closely with the justice department, it is disheartening they fail to address the ever growing female abuser problem we have in this country.
The primary reason the numbers are growing is because these women know they can get away with it due in part to 1. their victims don’t speak up and 2. their abusive behavior is practically ignored by sexual abuse advocates and the media. In fact, one of the primary reasons I loathe NOW (National Organization for Women) is because they cover up any abuse caused by women and have high priced legal teams working to prove the woman abuser was actually the victim.
Feminist.com even blatantly skirts the facts reflected in their own reports of sexual abuse, that men ARE abused by women, and curves around that issue in an attempt to force the reader to only focus on the female victims. More cases of lionesses feeding their own children to predators to save their own necks.
I am coming down so hard on feminist organizations because they clearly care nothing of humanity or children and only for their own agenda. This is in direct violation of our instinctual need to care for those in need of our nurturing and protection, and it is a disgrace to all women to behave any differently.
Something for them to think about while they apply their war paint and pretend to be the Amazonian warrior that, in truth, they dishonor with their reckless mentality: Women abuse. Women rape. Sons are abused by mothers. Sons witness mothers abuse. These sons grow up to become serial killers and serial rapists due to underlying issues with their entire childhoods spent in the care of abusive women. Abusive mothers raise men hell bent on making innocent and unsuspecting woman suffer for what they endured as a child – the very same innocent, unsuspecting women NOW and feminist organizations claim to care so much about.
Looking for support for male victims by women abusers is like looking for a needle in a hay stack. Society just isn’t ready to admit women abuse, even with the increasing number of female teachers raping their teenage students.
When looking up “women who rape statistics,” I found nothing about male victims but everything about women victims. Shockingly, when I did a search of “violence against men statistics,” again I found biased information to show men are the abusers and women only make up an ignorable percentage.
I was, however, encouraged a bit when I came across the MASV – Men Against Sexual Violence website. Although they speak more on the level of showing men why it is wrong to rape and otherwise sexually abuse, they do have mentions of abuse caused by women and the attitudes of such abuse that I mention in this post. (“Our societal norms encourage a boy to deny any negative or traumatic responses to having been “so lucky,” to having earned a ‘badge of honor.’ But, having been coerced or manipulated into sex by an older girl or woman is always abusive and often damaging (Lisak et al., 1996).”)
I did come across one feminist site with a posting by the site owner exposing sexual abuse by women on young boys. She recalled how the revelation that the lead singer for the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Anthony Kiedis, lost his virginity at 12 was handled by men and the public – as if it was a badge of honor to have been forcibly raped by one of this dad’s girlfriends.
She noted the more recent interview on Jimmy Kimmel with Lil Wayne admitting he was raped at 11 by a sexually aggressive 13 year old (which is a topic for another day as to how a 13 year old girl becomes sexually aggressive in the first place!). I found the interview in several areas, but the most intriguing are the reprints of the interview he did for Playboy, in which the interviewer and readers thought it was really cool he “got laid” at 11.
The person in this link even calls him a male slut, although does address how celebrities with this kind of past would be better if they addressed child rape rather than use it as a badge of honor.
What a guy does in his adulthood is his business and is usually consent, as an adult women consenting to sex neither deserves the term. Regardless on your point of view about adult promiscuity, what happens as a child does not warrant being called a slut.
The reason I am not posting a link to her site or her name is because of what I found in her comments. All respect I had for her post and all sincerity she tried to portray in caring for male victims of women was all but destroyed when she attacked a gentleman who commented that he was surprised a feminist would take on such a controversial topic and even thanked her for speaking up because he, too, was a survivor of his father and his mother’s sexual abuse.
- Toysoldier on March 25, 2009 7:43 pm
She ignored his gratitude, his praise, and even his revelation about his abuse and attacked his shock over a feminist caring about male victims.
She further went on to accuse him of stating that women victims have it easy because they are always believed and always taken seriously. Not once had he said any such thing, and when a few others commented chastising her for her actions, including one woman who had been a fan of hers but was very angry over her treatment of him, she attacked them, as well.
[I decided to post a link to her article due to the facts I have always tried to provide the other side when posting against someone and because I feel it necessary to show the mentality of feminists. I posted the comments of the visitor as well as the poster’s replies to him because I feel it is important to see the mentality shared by so many feminists. For an even better picture of her attitude and those who were shocked by her behavior, including women, take a look for yourself.]
Feminists will continue to destroy every attempt we women put forth to be treated with respect because of their constant refusal to show the same respect to men. Abuse is abuse and should never matter the gender but rather the need to end it all. Until feminists get that into their heads, they will never be part of the solution but always part of the problem.
Getting back on track….
We have the stigma of men and teenage boys who are raped by women that implies a man is weak, a “wuss,” or is “gay” for not enjoying the aggressive sexuality of the woman. Teenage boys are taught this attitude, purposefully or inadvertently, all through childhood, so it is nearly impossible for them to admit to their assault when dads and peers will only make fun of them for complaining about “getting laid” and for being overpowered by a woman in the first place.
Little boys who are raped by their mothers are completely at a loss because they don’t understand what is happening but feel it isn’t right. More confusing still is that the abuser is mom and mom is supposed to be the parent who fixes all the boo-boos and makes the nightmares go away. Same with little girls who are raped by their fathers. Dads are supposed to protect their daughters from the boy pulling their pig tales or the man leering at them.
Men who are raped simply have it ingrained into their psyche not to hurt women. Yes, when it comes to self-defense, you’d think all prior learned chivalry would be forgotten. However, when a behavior or attitude has been deeply fixed into the mind, it takes charge over everything else when a choice has to be made.
In the case of a man who is being assaulted, he wants to fight back, knows he has the right to fight back, knows he can more than likely overpower her, but the trigger in his mind that will allow him to act upon it is blocked by the brow-beating he learned in youth of how cowardly it is to hurt a woman, how shameful it is to beat up on a woman, that men who beat up women are mocked and called bully and looked down upon by society.
Abusing women is wrong, of course, but women who take advantage of men who respect them are no better than men crucified for abusing women.
Then, there is also the inability to deny the assault should he fight back and leave marks. Try being a man explaining to his friends why the woman he is accused of beating up was trying to have sex with him and wouldn’t listen when he said, “No.” That man would be ridiculed for the rest of his life for not only having to beat a woman up to make her leave him alone but for saying “no” to sex to begin with. Men, after all, are made to feel they should always be ready and lucky if they get it. Unfortunately, it is the men who have put themselves in this position, though society seems to have gladly allowed them to be stuck in this no win situation.
When you take all of this and apply it to a teenage boy going through puberty and the most difficult years of development, you can only imagine how horrific such an experience can be. When you have people on talk shows and comedy specials mocking these teenage boys who have been raped by their teachers, it makes their situation even worse and suggests to silent victims what will happen if they should ever come forward.
And so you have women who continue to rape and abuse men and boys – because our society nearly gives them a free pass to do so.
Women’s organizations and anti-child sexual abuse advocates who only focus on male abusers need to start realizing that this is a vicious circle encompassing us all and that victims of women can just as easily grow up to be abusers, too. We cannot afford to ignore any angle to sexual abuse if we are ever going to win this war. Doing so will only increase the abuse by those we pretend are above suspicion, resulting in adults who cannot function normally in a society where women are only treated as victim and never at fault.
I encourage everyone, especially those who believe women abusers are an anomaly, to read this page by the Equal Justice Foundation (menu for the site is at the top and clearly indicates articles of interest). I, also, want to bring attention to the addition by Congress in 2005 to the Violence Against Women Act that demands sanctuary be given to male victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. That was in 2005 but I cannot recall ever seeing it or hearing about it on the news or anywhere in the media, especially with the kind of press bills for women receive on a daily basis.
What is wrong with our society when it’s okay for men and teenage boys to be raped? To be tortured? To be beaten and abused?
On the compassion side, it is wrong and should make us feel ashamed for ever letting such apathy toward male victims to exist.
On the side of logic and reason, how much common sense does it make to treat male victims of women as “pussies” and “freaks” and insignificant when we know they will develop a hatred for women resulting in even more domestic violence and rape?
Regardless of victim and assailant, rape is wrong! Until we stop joking about any form or victim and start taking every incident just as seriously as others, we will never win against sexual abuse and those who abuse. You cannot kill the infestation if you only focus on one corner of a hive.
A study found that 70% of female sex abusers use violence against their victims. 
65% of the women in a study revealed that the abuse by their mothers was of a violent nature. Abuse of boys is often done in a seductive manner and may be gentler but it is still harmful. 
Often preying on their own children, women abuse their roles as caregivers and shatter trust that can never be repaired. Children raised in an abusive environment often don’t realize anything is wrong until later on. “Sexual abuse by women often starts under the guise of caretaking; fondling a child’s genitals as part of bathing and application of medication to the genitals; insertion of suppositories and enemas can also be used for sexual gratification on the part of the abuser. Frequent use of enemas and humiliating inspections of genital cleanliness are often reported by victims of female perpetrators. For female victims the abuse can be violent and brutal.” 
It is estimated that 64% of the sexual abuse committed by females were crimes against biological relatives and 19% were against victims who were unrelated to the offender. The age of onset of the abuse was 3.2 years old. 
Sexual Assault Myths/Facts
Sexual Assault Myths/Facts
- Myth: Men can’t be sexually assaulted.
Fact: In 2002, one in every eight rape victims were male.
- Myth: Only gay men are sexually assaulted.
Fact: About 40% of rape victims identify themselves as heterosexual.
- Myth: It is only gay men that sexually assault other men.
Fact: The vast majority of men who sexually assault other men identify themselves as heterosexual.
- Myth: Adult men cannot be sexually assaulted by women.
Fact: Although the majority of perpetrators are male (97-98%) women can and do also sexually assault men. If you include emotional blackmail as a way of giving the victim no choice, then the number greatly increases.
- Myth: Male victims don’t suffer as bad as female victims; after all they can’t become pregnant.
Fact: All rape victims suffer in many different ways, some responses are gender specific and some are not. Although men cannot become pregnant, anal rape does have a much higher risk of internal tearing and damage, and with that comes a higher risk of possible HIV transmission.
- Myth: Getting an erection or ejaculation during sexual assault means “you really wanted it” or you consented.
Fact: Getting an erection shows nothing other than your body responds the way it is suppose to. It has nothing to do with desire. If you were penetrated, the pressure from the prostate gland would cause an erection. Ejaculation is also very normal and some rapist will go out of their way to make sure you ejaculate, to try and make you feel ashamed, (adds to their dominate feeling of power) and they know it will likely reduce your chances of reporting the crime.
- Myth: Male rape only happens in prisons.
Fact: Male rape happens a lot in prison however, men are raped outside of prison every day in their homes, cars, at work and just about anywhere.
(Taken from Abused, Empowered, Survived, Thrived website)
Other sites of interest regarding male victims of sexual and domestic violence:
I was reading one of my favorite sites last night, Red-Alerts, and was horrified and disgusted to find the story of Hannah Overton, who has been convicted of capital murder of her 4 year old foster son, Andrew Burd. According to reports, her “God-fearing” brethren have begun a campaign to set her free, suggesting the child had it coming to him for being unruly.
Tell me if this sounds like reasonable punishment for an “unruly” child (and do please keep in mind he was 4, his previous caregiver says he never gave her a bit of trouble, and he was only in the Overton home for a month before the abuse began):
“‘He is not sick, he is doing it to get to me,’ Hannah told the neighbor, adding he had defecated eight times, the affidavits said. — Caller-Times
From Lost in Lima, Ohio :
Dozens of news media organizations have picked up Hannah’s story- from 20/20 to Christian News Sources. They’ve picked up Hannah’s story, her version of how a child declared “healthy and fit for adoption” one month, could end up dead less than six months later. But it’s Hannah’s story they have picked up- not Andrew’s.
No one wants to talk about Andrew’s story, about the suffering he endured, the incredible pain he would have been in the last day of his life. They don’t mention that the 23 teaspoons of Zatarain’s he would have had to have ingested was almost 100 times the recommended serving size (1/4 teaspoon), which introduced almost 24000mg of salt into his body at 240mg per serving. How, in making Hannah some sort of saint, they’ve made Andrew a child that was wild, and flawed. They’ve went as far as to claim that perhaps Andrew- suffering from his never mentioned before eating disorder- might have found a moment alone in which he on his own consumed so much salt that it caused the fatal toxic levels in his blood. The bruising on his head that was listed as a secondary cause of death? Well, that wasn’t really what it seemed. Perhaps someone rubbing his head, and the onset of his death caused it. Really, it could have been anything.
There is more to Andrew’s story, but sadly, it may be washed away by a flood of support for the woman who was responsible for providing him with care, love, and protection- the woman who didn’t fulfill that responsibility.
Hannah’s church has begun a “Free Hannah!” campaign, in which they already have the support of Christian News, 20/20 and ABC. Not surprising since 20/20 has gone on record defending the liberties of pedophiles and sexual predators of children, mocking “To Catch a Predator” and defending the adult teachers’ rights to have affairs with their young teen students. (Google “Boycott 20/20 and Disney”)
The church has bumperstickers and pamphlets and websites such as this one filled with outright lies about the case and defending a mother’s right to discipline her child.
Regardless of the damage control these cretin are trying to feed the public, there is NO DISPUTING AUTOPSY RESULTS! No evidence like the bruised and scarred body of the victim. As all medical examiners know, dead victims testify the loudest.
Here is an example at their pathetic attempt of convincing the public she did nothing wrong:
Lie: Hannah created a toxic brew of spices, put it in a sippy cup and forced Andrew to drink it therefore causing his death.
Truth: Hannah gave into Andrew’s desire to have an extra helping of food on the day of the incident. His insecurity and desire for extra food had been increasing since the car accident 3 weeks earlier. He threatened to throw poop on her so she heated up a can of HEB vegetable soup (she called it chili in the interview but it was soup,) he wanted the Zaterain’s sprinkled on it (he decided he liked it the day prior.) She gave one or two small shakes onto the soup, he wanted more and started to get upset again and was grabbing at the container in her hand spilling it in the kitchen. She thought if he wanted the flavor, she could give him a bit of the flavor in water instead of giving him more food. She put two shakes into a tumbler and then poured that into a small sippy cup, put on the top and let him drink that. This equals no more than 1/4th of a teaspoon of Zaterain’s. Maybe not the wisest thing to do but certainly not the amount of spices the prosecution proposes. The amount was less than the salt lime and chili we put on our fruit at the fruit stand.
How, then, did he die of sodium poisoning? The autopsy report confirms this. Not someone wanting to frame Hannah. Not someone who doesn’t understand what they are witnessing when they see a child vomit. Not someone “over-reacting” to a child passing in and out of consciousness while the parents watch and do nothing. Yes, that certainly would be over-reacting to think such apathy is abuse.
Additionally, what parent is so terrified of their 4 year old that they bend to his every whim and permit him to hold the threat of throwing feces if he doesn’t get what he wants?!At the same time she swears this did not happen, she claims he did this to himself. Which is it, Hannah?
Yes, their entire site is filled with such irrational garbage.
FromRob Taylor at Red-Alerts :
Indeed. Andrew Burd’s story must not be forgotten in the mad rush to free a child killer. He deserves justice, and that justice would be Hannah Overton dying in prison, caged like the animal she is. But the lawyers paid for by this insidious smear campaign against a four-year-old are appealing the case and may well get her conviction overturned. Andrew needs your support now more than ever.
Don’t let Hannah Overton get away with murder.
PLEASE show your support for the real victim here, innocent little Andrew Burd. Comment on any of the stories I have linked to in support of keeping this murderous bitch behind bars.
You can also send letters, call, and fax your support to:
13th Court of Appeals: Corpus Christi Site
Nueces County Courthouse
901 Leopard, 10th Floor,
Corpus Christi, Texas 78401
Telephone: (361) 888-0416 Fax: (361) 888-0794
I’m presently working on my own banners and buttons for Andrew. As soon as I am done, I will post them here and on every site I have. Please feel free to use and be sure to provide a link to any of the afore mentioned articles relaying his case.
UPDATE: This article has been brought to my attention. Apparently, Hannah Overton is the granddaughter of the Heaven’s Gate cult leader and the daughter of a man convicted of beating a teenage girl to death with a crowbar. Her church says this has nothing to do with Hannah.